May is Mental health awareness month. Mental health is one of those things we tell ourselves it happens to other people, not us. It is not okay to not talk about becuase more people than we realize struggle with it and here is why.

Psalm 34:18. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 Since 2020, suicides have skyrocketed off the charts.  So has accidental deaths caused by opioid overdoses.  But, we're not talking about it so wouldn't know about those statistics. But one look at the Sunday obituaries with pictures of seemingly healthy younger people who have died tells a different picture.  Unlike acknowledging our physical health problems, mental health has always brought shame.  Like the biblical reference to those with leprosy, we send those afflicted with mental health problems to some cavern where we wouldn't have to be bothered. Hence, we saw the construction of mental health institutions located out in the country where we could put 'Crazy Aunt Betsy or crazy old Jim. These were far enough places where we didn't have to be bothered by their problems.  

I would like to surmise that addiction, depression, and anxiety all have one common denominator. What is it you say? That common denominator is traumatic grief.  All of us experienced a little about what this felt like as we read the grim report coming out of Uvalde, Texas when a lone gunman walked into a 4th-grade classroom and began killing every single student, including their beloved teachers, using an AR-57 he had just purchased a day before.  It was said the lone gunman used so much firepower that the EMTs had to use DNA to identify the victims.  One day after the shooting, the husband of one of the teachers was so overcome by these losses that he died of a heart attack.

Grief is one of those things we actually set a timeline for when you must be recovered by it.  We wouldn't do this for the treatment of cancer, or treatment for paralysis, but we do it for mental health. In Griefshare, we teach our participant that there is no timeline for when one will be fully recovered from grief. We teach them that the pain which we feel is a reflection of the love we had for those who died.  The sudden death of a child is one example of this point.  One can expect that it will take many years for these families to recover from losing their children in this Robb elementary school classroom.

Even when we do not talk about it, this pain can affect us in ways we least expect it. When we feel this pain, we turn to chemicals to try with all of our might to make the pain go away. It rarely does. We do everything but talk about it. Our insurance companies pay lip service to grief recovery by setting a limit on what they will cover, or simply not offering that service. This is shaming and sends a strong message to those trying to make some sense out of their pain that they better be fully recovered by 'x' amount of time or one's job may be in jeopardy. 

It is time to bring mental health out of the dark ages into a more enlightened age where one doesn't have to feel shamed when they hurt after sudden losses.  

As a facilitator of griefshare, I believe this is one group that can help those experiencing traumatic grief. For 13-weeks, we take participants through the process of helping them understand what grief is while giving them each the opportunity to share in a safe affirming environment how this loss has personally impacted their lives.

I tell people that every single one of us is just one traumatic event away from a major mental health crisis. 

It is time we understand so when the next traumatic loss of a loved one occurs we are able to take the appropriate steps and seek the mental health treatment we need to help us instead of sweeping it under the rug and turning to alcohol and drugs to sedate that pain.