In 1964, Simon and Garfunkle wrote this song that resonates with greiving people everywhere. Whereas, the beginning of Genesis starts off with darkness, the gospels gives us hope that Jesus is the light of the world when darkness intervenes.

 

I just finished watching the online service at New Hope Church. I was reminded that the month of May is mental health awareness month.  There is so much unspoken grief as a result of losing loved ones in this pandemic. At last count, there are almost 1 million Americans no longer with us.  The introductory lyrics to the song of silence illustrate the darkness that settles in on grieving people.

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Left to their own devices, most Americans wouldn't talk about their grief. Most would just assume find a shovel and bury all that pain down deep with hopes it would never resurface. In reality, this rarely happens because unresolved grief follows you wherever you go, hitting you when you least expect it. It was said that when George Floyd tried to get back into his Christian base aftercare program for a slowly escalating addiction problem he just assume defeat, he found himself at 38th and Chicago where the event that shook the world all began. With access to his treatment program, Floyd, along with thousands of others struggling with addiction walked alone.

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams, I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of a street lamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light, I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never shared

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools" said I, "You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

In my studies on grief, I've learned that grief when unresolved for long periods of time tends to burrow down into the body, causing physiological changes to the brain and the cardiovascular system. In some cases, grief can lead to cancer diagnosis.  In a Med Ted talk, I heard Susan Klebold share how the untold grief affected her in the years after her son Dylan killed himself after killing others at Columbine high school- two years after that event she developed cancer. In her talk, she revealed that not even she was aware of what Dylan was about to do.  Today, as I listen to countless stories of newly bereaved people, I encourage them to see their doctor let them know their tragedy of losing a loved one just so they can monitor their vital signs as they travel their forlorn journey of grief.

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

There are many that could benefit from grief share, but fewer numbers actually take advantage of that group. I've seen people sign up, but in the final moments leading up to the first evening they have second thoughts and drop out. Men, especially, will find excuses to shy away from these groups- After all, to reveal one's traumatic emotions would be a sign of weakness and unbecoming of being a man. Instead, men tend to gravitate to the alcohol and drugs to attempt to counter the effects of their deepest pain. Still others will turn to other gods when in their mind they convince themselves that if Jesus was truly real, then he wouldn't allow this to happen to them.

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

I have a few friends who have a Buddha statue. They display it prominently on their mantle. They do so while reasoning that since God didn't save their loved one God isn't worth praying to. As a believer in the living God, Jesus Christ, I know those allegiances to Buddha are fruitless, but to those who bow before such statues, you can't convince them otherwise. 

And the sign flashed out its warning

In the words that it was forming

Then the sign said, "The words on the prophets are written on the subway walls

In tenement halls"

And whispered in the sound of silence

The only way to process traumatic pain associated with the loss of loved ones is to talk about it in the comfort of a safe environment, find trusted listeners and be willing to go through the inner emotional pain, not around it. There is no set timeline for when your grief journey should be complete.

 Grief share is one such avenue that truly helps people if only they were willing to seek that help. Whereas the beginning of Genesis talks about the darkness that prevails over the lives of people, the gospels share that Jesus is the light of the world, the helpmate through those sounds of silence.