Walking in uncharted territory in grief

 

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3

As I write this week's blogpost I just finished another evening of facilitating our live, in person, grief share group at New Hope Church. I learned this morning of yet another tragic loss.  

My eyes are wet whenever I read about a loss of a child for there are no guidelines for how to respond to such a loss because, after all, children are not suppose to die before their parents, right?  

I chose the title of today's blog because recovery from grief is essentially walking in uncharged territory. It is as though we're in a forested jungle, swash buckling our way   through the thick jungle brush, trying to find the end to our grief.  The loss of a child is especially painful and as the Grief share states it takes from 5-10 years to recover from such a loss.

The unit we covered last night was 'The journey of grief, part two. In this session we learned what the acronym DEER meant. (1)Drink lots of water to stay hydrated, (2)eat healthy meals, (3) exercise and (4) get plenty of rest.  After a loss occurs it is very common to have interrupted sleep patterns and when this occurs it is very important to let your primary doctor know this information so he can prescribe a sleep aide that can help you to get the sleep you need.  My experience is that there is a direct correlation between the amount  of quality sleep you are getting and how you are doing in the grief recovery process. 

In addition, we learned the importance of keeping a journal consisting of our day by day, moment by moment emotions of loss.  In a sense, our journals become a barometer of how we are doing on this journey.  In the video, one individual mentioned that after 6 months fr he didn't think he was making sufficient recovery until, that is, he went back and read his journal entries which reminded him that he had made sufficient much progress since the origination of his grief.  

My wife and I recently went on a 2 mile walk through one of our state parks. I remember as we walked, I wondered when we would reach our destination which seemed so far away.  

As I walked, I remember enjoying the scenic lookouts, the tall trees, and the swirling waters of the river. In a sense, our grief journey is like that walk- trusting God for those little miracle moments that inspire our journey.  

 Sometimes it isn't until the unthinkable happens that we learn to lean on God for the restoration of our soul.  Eventually as we continue the same rituals we did before out loss by attending a faith based community and spending time with our Savior and Lord that we will see recovery from the events that took our loved one.  

Our God is a great and mighty God who desires to walk by you like a good shepherd.