Is grieving a badge of honor or dishonor?

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Somehow I think we got it all wrong in our American society. As parents we want to somehow 'shrink wrap' our children and give them nothing but a conglomeration of positive ego enhancing experiences. We protect them from the experiences of death by getting a baby sitter for them when we have to make the obligatory trip to a funeral for a loved one who has died.

This week I saw how the accumulative effects of this can have on young adults. When young people are not getting the tools they need to help them grieve we are doing a huge disservice to them. I had one 55 year old gentleman tell me that he "doesn't believe in going to funerals" because it makes him sad. This man's thinking, I am afraid, is the way most American's feel about grieving.

When bad things happen they would rather stop off at a liquor store for a bottle of wine and sit before the fireplace drinking their sorrows away. As I write this post the Republican party controlled house and senate are in the process of passing a law that eliminates the blue laws and permit's liquor stores to sell liquor on Sundays; something I do not support simply because it sends a wrong message about how to process the bad things that happen to good people.. If this law is passed I can see this conversation taking place in our homes

Wife says to the husband in a phone call," Honey, the neighbor boy across the street got hit by a car and died." Husbands response, " I'll stop off at the liquor store and buy a bottle of wine and maybe we can console our selves with this tragic news"

According to the Barna group most American's are divided on the importance of attending church. https://www.barna.org/barna-update/culture/661-americans-divided-on-the-importance-of-church#.VMIXytLF-So Passing the blue laws, I am afraid sends a message that chemicals, not God, is the solution to grieving.

Yet, the verse from Psalm is a reminder that God is truly close to the brokenhearted. Church isn't about just feeling good. Church is about walking with those who are grieving. It isn't about surrounding ourselves with happy go lucky people who give us a temporary emotional band aid that makes us feel good until that is when we go home, close our door, and once again face our grief.

The greatest decision our family made after the loss of our special loved one was to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on going to church one Sabbath at a time, even when we didn't feel like it.

I believe when we are grieving it becomes a badge of honor because it is an opportunity to be still and listen to God speak to our hearts. As Christian's we would be wise to seek out those who are grieving because when we do we just may be touch by the heart of God through those people.

Teaching our children the hard things in life and letting them know that when bad things happen to good people emotions will come that they may not understand,but teaching them to lean into each of those emotions, not avoid them, will help them navigate their grief.

Death and dying is a fact of life in our world. The more our kid's learn about grief the better equipped they will be when that day arrives and we send them off into the world.