Today is a special day honoring our son and his classmates at Legacy Christian Academy

30 “Therefore, the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I promised that your branch of the tribe of Levi[a] would always be my priests. But I will honor those who honor me

Today is a our day to honor the graduates at Legacy Christian Academy in Andover, Minnesota. My son will be one of those honored for his hard work, dedication to following the Lord, and his ability to stand up for what is right even though it wasn't the most popular thing to do.  I was at my son's final track and field banquet last night and I was watching those who received very public and well deserved awards for their participation on this years track team while deep down I prepared my own award to give to my son.

James, you are an incredible young man and I as your dad am very proud of you. God has given you the desire to follow what is right even in the face of unpopularity.  You became a friend to those who needed a friend in their own severe testing.  I watched you coach your Parliament debate team and noticed your ability to bring out the best in each of your members. Your team was the most discipline and well organized  team of the class. 

Your strength of character and your ability to work on your grief in your unique way reminds me that God is one day going to use you in a very mighty way.  You demonstrated the ability to lead a bible study during your summers when most kids would rather debrief doing fun things.

As I watched you run the two mile I saw determination on your face that you were going to finish the race despite the pain in your feet. I saw a young man willing to press on with his sight on the goal. I saw a young man determined to finish the race. Your strength of character will serve you well as you pursue the next level of academic challenge. You have fought the good fight and you have finished the race. As your father I couldn't be more prouder.

 One of my prayers very early in our grief was for God to help you recover from your own grief. As I have seen this past year I know God answered that prayer and I was reminded that you are in good hands with His help.

Parents, if you have a son or daughter graduating in this years senior class and you could give them an award what would you say them that will encourage them?

So to the class of 2013 I say congratulations!  I look forward to watching how God is going to use each of you in the next chapter of life.

The last days of Zach Sobiech

Psalm 16:8-11 ESV / 51 helpful votes
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

A couple of days ago a young 18 year old guy died from complications of a rare form of bone cancer. He turned to music and used his  music to make others smile.As his parents said 'when you are with Zach you cannot possibly not smile or laugh.   He had that kind of impact on you. Zach was best known for the song he wrote entitled Clouds which has set a new record for downloadable tunes.  

Instead of staying at the hospital enduring all kinds of extremely evasive procedures with some that would take away the quality of life he chose to come home to spend time with family and friends he loved. He chose to live each day to the fullest and touch people's lives in very special and unique ways. Zach's friends were blessed having him part of their lives.

Zach's mother said something I thought was profound which was when he was told of the prognosis of his diagnosis they all began to appreciate life just a little bit better. Suddenly, the things we worry about the most mean little.  Everyone of us will die someday. Problem is most of us delude ourselves on the idea that we will all live to 85.5 years and then our grandchildren will say goodbye to us. Zach was the fortunate one.  He was told how much time he had left to live and knowing that he chose to live life to the fullest each and every day. He chose to write a song that will live on for time eternal and that song will continue to be a blessing in peoples lives.  

There are many  high school seniors that will be stepping forward to collect their diplomas. Have you asked yourself how you can make a difference in this life? Have you asked yourself how you can be a blessing in other's lives? As you begin your journey identify your strengths and let those strengths be a blessing to others. Zach sure did.

A blessing on the class of 2013

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.
1 Chronicles 4:10

I learned a very valuable lesson raising my son though the years of our grief:  the reality that our children do not have the same experiences in life as we do. I learned early that God actually protects our children by placing a covering over them just long enough for their parents to work through the grief process.  You see, God wants us to recover from our grief so we can be there to help him.  

While we were working on our grief our son had a good time in school learning from his middle and senior high teachers, being involved in band and choir, going to chapel services and playing sports.  My wife and I enjoyed being in the stands watching his team play and living vicariously through him. 

 While he was having fun with his teammates we were in the stands sharing our grief journey with those who knew us. His reality wasn't the same as our reality. 

I realized this morning as I recalled the verse from 1 Chronicles 4:10 the importance of praying a blessing over our kids. No matter what path your child may be on, whether destructive or the positive path we would like them on, God can show them the way. Pain may be part of the process, but in time God will use that pain for the child's good.  God never really intended for my wife and I to go through this painful grief journey, but he used it for good.  

I remember as a child  never having any memories of my dad's father and realizing later that his dad was so profoundly impacted by the effects of world war 1 and the traumatic experience of losing his wife  that he was simply unavailable to raise his two boys.  Did it impact me? Not really.  My reality was growing up in a two parent home, going to school, playing outdoors at the sand pit and having fun with my friends. My reality was certainly not  my dad's reality.

My son was blessed being part of Legacy Christian Academy in Andover, Minnesota. His reality were the memories of learning, playing in the band and choir and performing in sports. His memory were the friendships he made and being able to stay connected in this Facebook world as his classmates ventures off on their own journey of discovery.

As parents we should be praying the prayer of Jabez over our children. Our God is a God of blessings. Our God can take our worst pain in life and make it be a blessing on our children. I discover the story behind the prayer of Jabez. He is a man with a pitiful past and no hope for the future. He is a man who struggles to find meaning and significance in life.He is a man who was desperate to be accepted by his fellow man. Most importantly, he is a man who craves a relationship with God.

As our class of 2013 enters the world our prayer should be the one Jabez made to God.  As our children learned to place their trust in the living Savior, Jesus Christ, God is going to do remarkable things in their lives. No matter what path your child has been on God will use that path for his good. Our children will be in good hands because of our living Savior.

For a Lad about to enter the world in 1974 life was uncertain

Ecclesiastes 1:9

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.

In 1973 I was a senior at Hopkin's Lindbergh public high school,  We were known as the flyers and our dance line were the Lindy's  after the plane made famous by that aviator known as Charles Lindbergh. I remember when the school first opened the administrators had hoped to have the famed aviator himself speak at school, but poor health and his own reclusive nature kept him at his home in Hawaii.

 My senior year was fret with  other uncertainties as well with an oil embargo that threaten us with reduced oil supplies and slowly escalating gas prices. Just as the price of gas was about to cross over the 1.00 a gallon mark I remember dad exclaiming that would be the breaking point for him  when he permanently parks his car. Dad's are good at making blanket statements. How things haven't changed.

My life was fret with other worries like how do I make it in the world denying that I was born with a bi-lateral hearing impairment by choosing not wear the one thing that would help me. Like most kids I wanted to fit in without sticking out like a sore thumb. I remember how much this worried my parents as they saw my grades slipping.  I remember mom taking me to a Chinese acupuncturist she had read about in the newspaper that claimed would improve hearing loss.  Every week for a couple of months I went where they inserted 8 needles in each ear lobe before connecting those needles to electrical wires and turning on the electrical pulse machine for several minutes.  At one point I remembered thinking "it worked and I'm healed".  After the initial excitement wore off I was still the same person I was before the Chinese medicine trickery.  

I remembered that we were still at war in Viet Nam and being worried that as a member of the class of 1974 I would be drafted to fight in a war that nobody believed in. The American public didn't feel the same love for the military as we do today. 

 Watergate was in full swing with the grand old party retrenching and attempting to deflect the accusations made by the other party against the Nixon administration. This was  a year of lively political discourse in our home.  Dad was a lively debater and he would come home espousing such things that Nixon is a crook and should be impeached for allowing the burglary of the Democratic national headquarters from occurring. When the Watergate papers came out in paperback he read that from cover to cover which added credibility to his political arguments.  When Nixon stepped down dad said that in time Nixon's greatest fame will be in his Foreign policy with China.

There was a bright spot to that year.  In a little known Christian coffee house in the Minnetonka Mills area I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. The seed had been planted.  Little did I know that Christ would become a bigger influence than I would ever realized. That seed lead me to a Christian group at Normandale Community college where I was surrounded with Christian friends who would inspire me in my relationship with the Lord. Through one tiny seed planted in March 1974 I eventually was able to accept the reality of the disability I had and wear the hearing device that would open up my world to incredible sounds and information I previously missed. My grades improved all the way to finally finishing a Master's degree. As Christ filled the empty space in my heart I was reminded that all things are possible.

The more I think things have changed the more I realized that nothing has changed. As my son prepares for the day he graduates from Legacy Christian Academy the world is still fret with uncertainties. Gas is now approaching 4.00 a gallon and our every day life is threatened with the ever increasing terror attacks from a pressure cooker bomb that recently blew up in Boston to terrorist continuing trying to blow up our aircraft. 

I'm not worried for my son or any of  his classmates because out of the education he received from Legacy Christian Academy he also developed a firm foundation in the things that matter the most which is making Jesus Christ the central part of his life.  Out of that tiny seed that was planted comes a world of incredible possibilities.  Out of that tiny seed comes a Savior willing to walk with him on his journey in life. 

Life is uncertain, but knowing Christ as your Savior and allowing him to be Lord of your life makes life more meaningful and reminds us that He is there to help us in whatever trials come your way. The class of 2013 is in good hands because the Savior is there for them.

There is hope for a hopelessly violent culture

John 3:16

King James Version (KJV)

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

I I have seen too many news reports recently of missing people who have fallen victims to violent crime. One sad report I read  concerned a young 24 year old woman who was murdered at the hands of her boyfriend who she was simply trying to break up with the night she disappeared. Another heart breaking report reported that the body of a young woman had shown up when a barge employee saw a floating body underneath the barge. This woman was violently taken by her estranged husband one night once she got off her shift at the Mall of America. 

We keep reminding ourselves that this happened to them, but it will never happen to my family, or the people  I know. That all changed when my wife read an email from her brother letting her know that their cousin Jack Sjol had been missing since April 24th, 2013 after what appeared to be a violent confrontation. Violent crime has now hit close to home. Survivors of crimes of this nature go through many sleepless nights hoping and wondering if they would ever see their loved one again. 

Parents of missing children grieve with heavy hearts, hoping and praying, that their child would return home and in some cases completely collapse when they receive the news that no parent wants to hear that they found the body of their child.  There are no words to describe the pain that these parents, siblings, and aunts and uncles are going through with this type of loss. Shock, anger, depression, are common place.  Life has suddenly loss it's meaning when the one you once had meaningful conversations with is missing. Hopelessness and a desire to die becomes a reality for those caught in the throes of losing a loved one to a violent crime

People who are in the throes of this type of grief need trusted listeners who are willing to travel with them on their forlorn journey of grief. A journey that will have no end in sight. A journey that is as unique as the relationship they had with the person who fell victim to a violent crime.

In a world of hopelessness there is hope. In a world where pain and suffering and every unimaginable sin seems to reign God sent his son into the world to have a relationship with us. God knows first hand what it means to be a victim of a violent crime. He saw firsthand how violent humanity was when his son Jesus was crucified on the cross of Calvary. He saw the Roman soldiers stick spears into him, spat at  him, flogged him with chains, and followers who once followed Jesus curse him. You see, God understands our pain and he wants to walk with you on your painful journey.

In June 2007 we entered our painful journey the night of June 10th when our little girl, Maria, died the first night home from the hospital where she had successful surgery. Shock, anger, depression were the common themes of our lives for the next several years. Just as many were walking away from us because they didn't know how to help us God stepped in and  helped our family by walking with us each step of the way. God brought to each of us trusted listeners who  were to travel with us on this lonely journey of grief.

If you have been a victim of a violent crime you can have this very same presence that our family had simply by praying this prayer: " Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and cannot enter into heaven because of my own works.  I know that you died for all of my sins. I open the door to my heart and invite you to come, and walk with me on my lonely journey. I know that with your help I will get through this journey of seemingly hopelessness and despair. Thank you Jesus for your free gift of eternal life.

Is there a correlation between rising use of E mails and anger??

Proverbs 15:1 ESV / 36 helpful votes

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

It seems as though in this day and age no one talks to anybody on the phone anymore.  Instead, we send short little e mails with phrases like LOL, :-) :-( .  I have a brother in law who has problems with his wrists and speaks in symbols because it means less pain when typing. Not just him but more and more people are speaking emoticon to convey their feelings.

 Some use e mail because it means they can save time than calling the person and being on the phone longer than they intended,  More people are registering for classes, signing up their children for summer soccer on line.  This works fine for the most part only until a problem surfaces and you need to get a hold of someone to fix it.  Good luck trying to find a live person you can to talk to about the problem.  I wish we could go back to the days where person to person communication is possible because in some ways it would make life so much easier and dare I say it stress free? But that will not happen just like we will never again seethe day where we can go to a Gold bond stamp redemption center to buy that item we wanted.

The problem with E mail is that we have lost the ability to communicate and relate to another human being. People in grief need to be able to talk with someone live, whether it is over the phone or at a Perkin's restaurant for breakfast. Communication is more than typing on the computer. Communication is being able to read the non verbal body language, the voice patterns, and the sadness in their eyes. When Jesus healed the sick he showed compassion and warmth and when he touched them they were healed.

I found myself getting flustered when I could not talk to a live person about the soccer registration. All I got were a string of e mails that basically said that nothing could be done about fixing the problem. You can probably guess how this sat with a first born dad raised by a father who was a Marine. Not good. Long and short of it my wife ended up apologizing to the person when he called when I was out. I had no phone number to call him back on, but I did after some reflection send him an e mail apologizing to him for my terse words when I couldn't resolve this in my favor.

I have this image in my mind of a pirate swinging his sword on the ship's deck and knocking people over. This is what happens when anger gets the best of us. E-mail is a good way of communicating for the most part, but not meant to be the only way of communicating. I learned that the next time I have this problem where I need to talk with someone in person I will simply type ' need to talk with someone about the problem with the registration, please call'. 

Your pain + God's glory= Your faith story

Luke 8:24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm



Life isn't fair. Everyone is not created equal. People come from all walks of life with all types of disabilities, talents and abilities. Some are products of a single parent home where anger between divorced spouses reigns. Others come from two parent families with several well adjusted kids and a household full of pets and a lake home to travel to on the weekends. Some kids were born with a higher innate intelligence that propels them to the top of their class with a college degree by the age of 14. Some kids require more time learning and barely graduate at 18.

Some families experience trauma with the sudden loss of a loved one at a critical juncture of their child's development. Before their loss their family experienced the same happiness as most other families, but after the loss they are thrust into a whirl wind of grief and sorrow so significant that bystanders wonder if it is even possible to survive.

God does his most effective work where hopelessness reigns! He can take any pain and suffering incurred over many years and convert it into a beautiful faith story.  He has done that throughout the biblical history and He continues to do that  today.

If you are on a course of grieving that appears to have no end and like Jesus disciples you feel you are in a small boat on a very stormy sea about to go under please be assure that God will rescue you.  You may feel like the water is about to capsize your boat, but you will be rescued.

The emotions you feel from your loss are normal. Those highly intrusive emotions that cause your heart to palpate and your digestive system to go crazy are normal.  You are experiencing very real emotions because of the significance your loved one had in your life.

Lean into your grief. Don't try to run from your emotions by filling up your life with busyness or other mindless activities.  Do be a role model for others on how best to deal with those volatile emotions.Demonstrate a healthy patter for processing grief so your kids will grow up knowing how to process the pain of loss appropriately. Find a trusted friend and talk about your loss and the impact that loss is having on you. Talk, Talk, Talk it out to a trusted friend and trusted listener who will not offer any spiritual platitudes or try to fix you.

In time God will begin to paint a beautiful tapestry of colors on your life's canvass. In time others will look at your life and see God's blessing. Your life story will be a crescendo of God's glory that draws others to Christ.  This will become your Faith story.  Embrace it. Relish it. Tell people your story so God will bring redemption to those who need redemption.

Beauty in Suffering- Tammy and Pat McCleod story of the severe brain injury of their son Zack.

"David said to God, "I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men.""

2 Samuel 24:14 (NIV)

In this months edition of Worldwide Challenge i read the article entitled Joy in the midst of suffering. Pat and Tammy McLeod are 20 year missionaries serving with Campus Crusade for Christ in Boston.  Their entire world was tossed upside down when their eldest son, Zack, suffered a very serious traumatic brain injury while playing in a football scrimmage.  He lost the ability to speak and walk.  Tammy said she cried more in the first few years of his injury than she had in her entire life. Then she said, " the pain has been so deep that there are no words to describe it." 

Tammy describes things that she had read in scripture and things others had shared with her that suggested to her that God is in control. Pat admitted that grief continues to linger. Pat and Tammy offer some important grief guidelines.

1.)  " You go into marriage expecting that when you hit something like this in life the person you love the most will be there for you.," says Pat, " but they're actually experiencing the same grief .  Because each person goes through that in their own special way, it's hard for the couple to be synchronized.  It is actually irrating.'

2)  Needing others.

     " I learned how much we need people," says Tammy McCleod. " Before it was hard for her to accept help from people, but in this situation, she knew they couldn't make it without help.  They couldn't carry the weight of the situation by themselves.

3) HELPING OTHERS WHO HURT:  People who helped the Mcleods by;

    A) Providing meals.

    B) Stocking their refrigerator with groceries.

    C0. Cleaning their home.

     D)  Praying for and with them.

     E). Helping their boys with homework.

     F). Buying a plane ticket for their daughter to come home from college so she could be with Zack.

     G). offering tickets to ball games or some getaway for the McLeod family.

     H). Creating a website about Zack's progress and maintaining it.

     I.) Organizing fund raisers  to cover medical expenses.

4)  Books on Grief

    " To move through the grief process, it helped for her to write out all of the losses involved and pray through them, allowing tears to flow. She recommends two books on Grief.

a.  Lament for a Son by nicholas Walterstarff

b. A Grace disguised by Jerry Sittser

The Mcleod's learned that there is joy in suffering  because it was in their suffering that made them more sensitive to the needs of others around them. 
They hung onto the promises of God and to the Son who suffered before them and watched as He gathered them up and comforted them.

 If and when you enter into your own period of suffering embrace it and watch God carry you like he had done for the McLeod's and like He did for my family.