The loss of a child is a long and often times painful process. It is a process that requires people to support them.

As this man testifies, the loss of a child is a profound and intense loss of which he was not able to do on his own. He shares the story of losing his 5 year old son and the cataclysism of emotions he traveled through until he felt normal again. He shared how therapists and close friends that helped him all along the way of his journey.

He was right when he shared how difficult it was to find honest videos done by men after the loss of a child. They are hard to find because men find it hard to talk about their emotions after a traumatic loss. Statistically, men are more apt to venture into alcohol and drug use before they show up at the doorstep of a therapist or groups like grief share.

In the 10 years that I have help facilitate Grief share I can attest to the fact that the groups are filled with mostly grieving woman with a small handful of men. The men who did come to grief share and completed all of their lessons recovered at a much faster pace than the ones who stayed away while their wives attended.

The reality after the loss of a child ( at any age) is that it will take at least 10 years to recover from such a loss and the reality if men choose to isolate while going from depression to anger back to depression is that they will likely display serious health symptoms requiring medical intervention. After the loss of my 10 year old daughter, Maria, I sought out a trauma therapist to help me with the intial shock and anger of the loss. Once this was completed, I joined my wife to participate in Grief share. The combination of these two things made all of the difference in my world.

We have a God who sent his son, Jesus, into the world to help us heal from our losses by walking along side us through the entire journey. He also uses groups like Griefshare.org to help with the healing process by introducing people to us who experience similar losses as ours in an evironment where we feel safe to share our emotional pain.

God is in business of healing broken people

The loss of a loved one can profoundly effect us in unique ways. For some, it can lead to shock as we grapple with the 'why did this have to happen to me?' We search for someone to blame for our loss, a loss that we never envision would happen to us.

If the loss is with a child, the loss is profound and deep which often takes up to 10 years before we start feeling normal again.

Then, you have the family dynamics following the loss. Some are instantly processing their pain while others are bitter and angry choosing to point fingers toward the primary care giver thinking they must have done something to cause the loved one to die.

When we lose a loved one we come to the proverbial fork in the road of life. Choosing the right path will either set the survivor on the recovery road while choosing the wrong path will lead them down a road filled with more anger and various addictions of which may cause dangerous health conditions to surface. I would like to say that most would choose the right path, but sadly, statistics remind me that most will make every effort to bury their grief while substituting alcohol, drugs, gambling and other addictions into the equation.

There is hope and that is Grief share. This is a 13 week group that teaches people how to grieve while encouraging them to have daily devotions using the 'From mourning to joy' exercises. When you read God's word from Genesis through Revelation the common theme you will find is 'Grief'. It is a reminder that life isn't always going to be a happy and delightful. It is a reminder that Jesus came into the world to walk with broken people and to guide them until recovery is reached. Griefshare is one such tool to help guide broken people.

Going home is a new series about stories of people who are dying and the survivors who carry on. Grief share is highlighted in several of the episodes.

Recovery from grief cannot be done alone for we all need a community of believers to go to the dark places we’re in

Grief has to be fully processed for however long it takes. There is no time line for recovery to occur. To recover from the loss of a child it can take as much as 10 years to heal.
A person may try to avoid grieving by over working, drinking or using intoxicating drugs, but those do not work in the longrun.

In fact, avoidance will only lead to the same level of pain as if the death occurred yesterday.

The reality we will all face in this lifetime is a death of someone close to us. The way to recover would be to find a support group like griefshare where you will be able to share your story and the pain of losing your loved one. To deny your grief will only cause physical and mental health problems. This could lead to a shorter life span. Men, especially, are prone to long term health problems for they are most likely to shut down their emotions and not allow them to go to the dark places they need to go.

According to Dr. Anet Varghese, Grief is the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person.

Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future. Intense grief can become life-threatening through disruption of the immune system, self-neglect, and suicidal thoughts. Grief may also take the form of regret for something lost, remorse for something done, or sorrow for a mishap to oneself.

Notice what she says about life-threatening through the disruption of the immune system. One of the first things we tell people after they experience a truamtic loss is for them to schedule an appointment with their doctor to let that person know that they just experienced the loss of a loved one.

By letting your doctor know, you're opening the door for him or her to moniter your health systems to prevent health complications from occuring that are associated with your grief.

It was at my initial appointmentthat he encouraged me to seek a therapist gifted at helping people with working with trauma. He understood as he shared the trauma when he was a teenager and watched his younger brother die.

The more you share your story, the more support you will find in your time of need-support you surely need. One other thing we did was to continue worshipping our Savior at the same church we attended when our now deceased loved one was with us. We did this because we knew that maintaining those same rituals was important to our well being and recovery process.

We need to be prepared to walk this grief journey for a long time. For the lost of a child it may take up to 10 years to recover from the pain associated with this loss.Most of us would rather that we hurt for a little while before we resume life's normal functions. Rmember, the pain you feelis the reflection of the love you had for the one who died. You loved deeply and of course you will grieve deeply so it will take a strong commitment to grieve each emotion one emotion at a time and not set time limits when this grief will end.

I assure you that your commitment to this grief work will lead to dividends of feeling like you can laugh again as you recall those memories of yesteryear.Trust the Lord and let Him walk with your through the pain.In this video below, you will meetan individual who successfully navigated her series of losses to the point where she is speaking to groups how they can recover like she did.