At tonight's grief share group we covered the chapter regarding the importance of relationships as we grieve.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

At the beginning of this unit are these words; 'You might have been surprised to find that some of your relationships have changed after your loved one's death. People who thought would remain close have drifted away; people you didn't know well before have become closer. Dealing with relationships can be confusing during grief. But relationships are crucial to your healing.

We learned that family members grieve uniquely and that husbands and wives grieve very differently. One individual said that he just wanted to stay busy while his wife wanted to process her emotions. Grief can lead to intense loneliness and there is this thought that goes through one's mind that no one understands what they are going through with this grief.

We also saw the benefits of solitude in our grief. For some, this means traveling to the north shore and spending time in prayer and the reading of God's word. For others, it means going to a favorite restaurant of your deceased loved one and having a quiet time of reading, journaling and talking with others who might be there to reshape their own sad memories of this place.

We discovered that relationships sometimes change simply because our friends have to get back to their own lives When this happens, we should try to make new friends. One way is to put one foot in front of the other and honoring God with your presence each week for worship and getting to know others. Going to church to practice your faith is after all the key to your healing from the incredible pain of loss. The other way is to find a Grief Share group through this link where you will learn how to go through the pain of your grief, not around it https://www.griefshare.org

Next week Grief share will cover the 'Why' question- one of the most common question we ask God after the loss.

Greater than all the trophies is knowing that Jesus Christ is the assurance of your salvation.

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Last night, I turned off the Minnesota Twin's/Yankees game to try to get some sleep before the start of a brand new day. Curiosity got the best of me when I woke up at 3:50am to find that our beloved Twins lost to the Yankees 5-1. We had placed our hopes on another World series just like the ones in 1987 and 1991, but instead of celebrating a win tonight we lamented over the agony of defeat.

As I reflected on that thought I was remembering that more important as the wins are, God cares more about our hearts and our attitude when we play the game. Whether you are an athlete or not, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength has relevance for all of us. It is the hope that resides in each of us that gives us the inspiration to overcome any obstacle in life.

If you're fearful of that job interview tomorrow, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

If you're fearful of that oncology appointment, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

If you do not know how you are going to get through the day of burying your loved one, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

If you do not know how you're going to survive this painful grief journey, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

The word of God says that He loves you and has a plan for your life. You may not see it right away, but you can find the peace that simply accepting Jesus Christ into your heart will give you the peace that he knows what to do with all circumstances that come your way. Good and bad, God will help you conquer all obstacles.

Just as these athletes gave their lives to Jesus Christ, you also can have that assurance of salvation simply by asking Christ into your life.

We must go THROUGH the pain of our grief, not around it, or under it or over it if we intend to heal from it.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73:28&version=NIV

At last night's Grief share we covered the topic, 'the journey of grief, part 2  We learned about the importance of looking at pictures of our deceased loved ones to help us to process the emotional pain of our grief. 

While I recognize this is a painful process, it is an essential process to aid our healing process.  Let me explain. In our American way of life, we are tempted to bury our memories of the one who has died just to avoid any emotional consequences that come our way- who wants to be ambushed by our emotions when we're trying to do life?

Unless we take the time to express our emotions by looking at the pictures or watching any videos of happy times with our loved ones, the temptation will be to drown out our sorrows with alcohol and drugs, or illicit sexual relationships that can lead to more emotional and physical pain, or that medical diagnosis that comes with unresolved traumatic grief.

This is where our faith comes into play.  

Remember those songs you use to sing in Sunday school? ' Jesus loves me yes I know for the bible tells me so'? It is often not until we lose a loved one that we see the relevance of our faith- that this Jesus we often prayed to in sickness and in health is the same Jesus walking with us as we transverse this journey called grief. 

Think about this for a moment. God can be in all places at once. He is in Heaven with our loved ones and He is with us providing us with comfort and walking side by side with us, sometimes carrying us, through the rough terrain of our loss. Through the power of the holy spirit Jesus can dwell in our hearts to provide you with those encouraging words, those little miracle moments and that comfort you need to get you through the day.

This is why I encourage people to place one foot in front of the other and continue attending a Christian church where they may continue hearing the word of God even though they may not feel like going.  Feelings may ebb and flow, but God's word is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. God's word will never change even though our emotions do. 

As one lady said in the video when one of her kids asked why we have to keep  looking at pictures that make others sad- "I want to be able to continue looking at those pictures until one day I''m no longer sad and I can once again smile and laugh at those good times we had with our loved one."

If you are having a hard time processing the pain of your loved one, I encourage you to find a grief share group near you. Grief share is a 13-week group that will help you navigate through the pain, not around it.  https://www.griefshare.org