And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3
I wrote this post 2 years ago on a day Maria would have been 20 years-old. I wrote it to encourage others to share memories they had of the one who died. As you lament over your loss today, remember that there will be far more celebrating in heaven with your loved one as there were of the time you celebrated with them on earth.
As I look at the clock on my laptop, I am reminded that this would have been Maria's 20th birthday. I can only imagine what that birthday might have been like, just like I could only imagine all of her other birthdays from age 11 on. Why am I sharing this? Families who suffer the misfortune of losing their child need others to share memories of their child. Just because a child dies, regardless of age, doesn't mean they can just forget about them. Their timeline may have ended, but the memories linger on. Maria, I know you are very much alive in heaven and I know that your life, because of what Jesus did for you, continues on. Happy birthday from your earthly dad. To all of the other parents, I encourage you to continue talking about the memories of your child. It is normal to do so because it reflects the love you had for them.
17 For this reason, he had to be made like them,[a] fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. 18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. Hebrews 2: 17-18
As I continued to read 'Imagine Heaven, Near-death experiences, God's promises, and the exhilarating future that awaits you, a book written by John Burke, I had to share Chrystal's story in chapter 14.' 'Before her NDE, the concept of God as a loving Father made no sense to Crystal. Why didn't he protect her at the age of 3 when the sexual abuse began? Why did he let other men abuse her continually if he loved her? Why would he allow the pain and suffering and chaos from her father leaving, an abusive step-father, and a partying mother who left with questionable company? By age 9, doubts about God's love or existence has a stronghold, but something about Jesus sounded different to young Crystal. The fact Jesus was human appealed to Crystal, as well as the fact that he had died on the cross for her sin's, to save her. As Crystal grew to love Jesus, she yearned to be closer to him, so at the age of 9, she told her mother she wanted to be baptized. She wanted to be clean, and after her baptism, she recalls, " I felt like my soul had been scrubbed. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last because the abuse continued. Crystal had expected to be saved from the abuse that was happening in the present. As Crystal entered her teen years, all that shame, hurt, and anger felt like her identity. She blamed herself for the abuse. When her mom got back together with her abusive step-father, she felt rejected. If her mom chose a violent ex-husband over her, she felt she must be worthless, so she decided to act that way. At the age of 16, she got involved with a 22-year-old man and started partying. She and her mom fought constantly until finally, her mom kicked her out. Crystal lived in her car for months until her dad rescued her. Later that year she unsuccessfully tried to kill herself. She got pregnant at 17. She had the baby. Two years later, she got pregnant again and this time she had an abortion. She felt unforgivable. She had affairs with married men and broke up marriages. She married a guy who had a worse past than she did. They had two kids but then divorced when his constant drunkenness and drug abuse turned him abusive. Several years later, a guy Crystal was dating came to take JP, her 6-year-old son, for a ride on his motorcycle. Crystal said, "No". But when she went inside to check on another child, he took JP riding anyway. He crashed into a truck and almost killed her son. JP survived being thrown from a motorcycle and wedged into a truck's wheel well, but not without brain-stem damage that required 4-months of inpatient therapy. As if that weren't enough, at the age of 33, Crystal went to the hospital for pancreatitis. Due to complications, she died for 9-minutes and found herself in heaven. "I was instantly aware of two beings in front of me and to my left and I knew right away who they were- they were angels. But they weren't just any angels-they were my angels. I recognized them immediately." She knew her angels were there to greet her back home. As she stood in front of them, an immense love for these beings swept through her. The angels felt like the closest friends she could ever have, Crystal, remembers, " as if they had been by my side for every tear I ever cried, every decision I had ever made, every day I ever felt lonely." She felt an immediate connection, a sense of deep communication with them, and a complete lack of shame, secrets, misunderstanding, or negativity. Instead, there was only a deep, beautiful, sustaining sense of knowing. Crystal also sensed another profusion of brightness coming from a Being from her right, whom she knew without a doubt was God. She was immediately overcome with a profound, persistent desire to praise and worship him. Although she had always referred to God as him, she understood, at that moment, that God was neither a him nor a her, but simply God. She also understood that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were all one- the one before me now," she says. Crystal always assumed her experiences of Heaven would be different. She had imagined herself asking God a barrage of questions- like why, for example, he had allowed her to be molested as a child. Or how he could allow brutality against children or starvation or cruelty against the weak. Crystal says, " I wanted to know why He didn't love me. Or why he let bad things happen. And yet, as I stood in front of Him and I faced Him and I fell to my knees, and I raised my hands, the question I called out to Him was, "Why didn't I do more for You?" Because in an instant, He revealed His true self to me which is love. I had never truly worshipped Him. And as I lay there in worship in awe of this Creator, I remember saying "I could worship You for eternity." In Heaven, Crystal's questions had been answered before she ever had to ask them. In God's presence, Crystal understood God's plan as perfect. She readily admits that back on earth, she can't explain it all. Instead, she believes that we aren't meant to comprehend on earth what we will understand in Heaven. " All I can tell you," she says, " is that I know God's plan is perfect. In his radiance, it all makes perfect, perfect sense." (page 192-195 'Imagine Heaven, written by John Burke.
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
"Mayday, mayday!" Tom hollered into his ham radio. Hoping someone would hear him as he struggled to stay afloat from his cabin cruiser. He knew at this very hour he made a tragic mistake trying to outlive hurricane Florence He thought this would have been like the other two hurricanes where he hunkered down and survived those storms. The unrelenting waves were pounding his boat and sending him occasionally to the floor where once again he had to use all his strength to get back on his feet. He tried one more time trying to get someone or anyone's attention but realized that even the rescuers were hunkered down somewhere to get away from this storm. Tom was at the mercy of these winds, winds that were howling its angry pitch at him, trying to intimidate him. "Mayday, mayday!" he tried one more time to get anyone's attention without realizing that if anyone heard there was no way they would be able to rescue him. He felt cold seawater at his feet and when he looked down he saw the water begin rising. For the first time, Tom had this sense of dread fill his mind as though he wasn't going to survive this one. His mind drifted back to his girlfriend and all his nephews and nieces he might never see again. He thought of his mom and dad who were probably worried sick for him, especially when he nonchalantly mentioned to them he would ride out the storm from his boat. He reminded them not to worry because his boat would be locked securely at the dock.
He felt another big wave knock into his boat. He tried to brace himself with both arms outstretched to steady himself, but once again, he was knocked onto the now water soaked cabin floor. He thought he heard the cabin glass break and when he felt the splinters of glass falling everywhere he knew his time on this earth were just minutes away from dissipating into nothingness. He reflected on the bible verses from bible school he memorized and wished he had kept going to Church, but his peers were all telling him, "you don't need God." But, he wondered maybe he had made a horrible mistake. He was no match for this storm and he knew it. Tom felt the boat shake more violently now as if the boat was beginning to break free from the dock. Tom did the only thing he knew which was to cry out to Jesus to please come into his life because he needed him. He remembers that verse from John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. At this very hour he needed him. How he wished he had made that decision like his sister and brother did when they were teens, but his stubbornness and his drive to do it his way were overwhelming. Tom felt the boat shake violently one more time before the wind and the wave pulled it away from the security of the dock. He felt the boat break apart and his body drifting off in the seawater. He couldn't breathe. He soon had this sensation that he was drowning. As his lungs were filling up with seawater, he began drifting off into unconsciousness. Tom left his body watching it float lifelessly away, yet he did not have any fear or dread or a sense of panic. He saw this light and inside that light, he saw the most beautiful person, the one who bled and died for him.- Jesus Christ, the King of kings and the lord of Lord's.
