Trusting

                                                                       


Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

At times it is hard to take true what is written.  Trusting becomes hard when pain in our lives is present.  We think others around us are doing so much better and we develop a woe is within attitude. We watch as the world around us is experiencing the'joys' of life and assume that because something happen to us that God is not with us.  We think that pain and suffering in our lives is akin to not praying enough, not giving enough, not attending church enough, and not doing church.


As you watch the world around you  it is as though all the world around you is enjoying fruits of the amusement park while you walk aimlessly through the shadow of death. While you watch your friends climb into the rotating teacups you sit off in the distance wondering why they are laughing and smiling while it takes every effort just to make a slight curl in the corners of  your mouth.


Trusting is hard.  Like Job sitting forlornly by with friends who did not really understand his predicament you sit in your own ash heap waiting for God to shine His favor on you once again.


Trusting, I have learned in my grief journey, is something I cannot do on my own. Without God I am destroyed. Without God I am without hope.  It is only when I open up my bible and read the words from Proverbs 3:5-6 that I am reminded that I am trusting not in my own power, but I am trusting in the Lord and not on my own understanding and in all my ways I acknowledge him and then He will make my path straight.


Trusting becomes easy as I read the bible and discover how God has helped countless people. I learn that God  really does love me even as I sit forlornly in my ash heap.  


Sometimes the best thing we can do when we suffer is to climb into the rotating teacups with our friends and experience the joy they are presently experiencing.  It is through our friends that God uses to support us in the throes of our suffering.  It is in his word God uses to reassure us that He loves us and will walk with us in our suffering!  In time you will once again find it easier to laugh and smile just like the friends you are riding with in the rotating teacups. 

Caring for your health while grieving

                                                             

Recently, I heard a news report about 3 young daughters who were murdered by their father and saw the impact  their deaths had on the faces of the people who knew this family. The death of a child is often felt community wide and as you will see in this webinar can have profound effects on one's health.

One of the very first things the chaplain said to our family after the loss of our daughter was the importance of drinking lots of fluid. He said this because when a person grieves they forget the simple thing of knowing that they are thirsty. Not staying hydrated will lead to other health problems. The speaker in this 60 minute webinar is a career nurse who understands the grief process not only from a professional standpoint, but also because she actually went through it when she and her husband loss their 21 year old daughter in a tragic car accident.

I think what she has to say about grief will help the newly bereaved to better maintain their health while they go through the grief process. I encourage you to listen to this nurse as she describes the grief process from a health perspective and things you can do to monitor the hormonal changes that are occurring in your body when grief is encountered.

As a Christian I had a hard time when she put the plug in for practicing Yoga, but she used this as an illustration to talk about the importance of practicing the deep breathing exercises which are needed to expel the toxins that are accumulating in the body during the grief process.

I do believe the things that she has to say about grief are important concepts to know and following through with some of her suggestions will protect you from more serious health issues..                                                                     

The healing power of forgiveness

                                                                        

                                                                                 


This week in Minnesota the wife of a former well known Minnesota Viking was sentenced to 4 years in prison for fleeing from the scene of a horrific accident that left one family without a son and one employer without f a chef. She left a husband and children without a wife and mother. There were no winner's in this case.

When she was sentenced she wanted to apologized to the family of the deceased young man and promised she would do her best to honor his memory. She told them that she did this by having his image tattooed on her wrist.Through tears, she told his mother, father, and brother that she was sorry.


“The remorse was real. We do forgive her and this will end up being a good day for the justice system,” said Kono. Phanthavong’s niece, Souksa Vanh, was glad to finally hear from Senser.


“It felt like a relief to hear her come out and speak for herself,” said Vanh.

This family had waited long for this woman's apology to come forward and whereas many of the family members wanted to lashed back at this woman the elder spokes person in this family cautioned them against speaking out. Instead they waited for the proper time when healing would take place and when she finally spoke up at her sentencing it was as though they were freed from the pain of the past. How often do we allow ourselves to be chained to our past because of our reluctance of letting go of anger? How often do we allow the pain from our past hold us captive from living in the present?


In the area of trial law families are often prevented from apologizing and in many cases attorneys cautioned many to never begin the road toward forgiveness. No wonder the pain of grief lingers and never ends. How can it possibly end when the legal system props up these huge walls between the opposing parties.


The attorney I had hired very early on in my grief even advised me to never reach out to the doctor I had the grievance against even when he told me we really didn't have a case. His rationale? Just in case there may be a break through of new evidence that would make this possible to file the lawsuit..


We have a choice in this life. On the one hand we can harbor resentment, anger against the party of perceived wrong for the rest of our lives, or we can seek forgiveness and reconciliation and with that a special peace that God gives us once we have laid down our wrongs. Because of my faith in Jesus Christ I was able to lay down my anger and my resentment at the foot of the cross and seek to forgive the medical community. Through my faith in Christ I understood that Maria was in a better place and that I would see her again when my life ended.


Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the pain will go away. It will lessen in time, but it really never disappears completely. Forgiveness is the start of the healing process. God will walk with you through the painful journey of your loss just as He has walked with us in the days, months and years following our daughter's sudden death.