So many men try to bury their grief only to find out when more grief occurs that all that burying just resurfaced the old grief as though it just occurred.

 

Isaiah 41:10
10 fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Today, I listened to Prince Harry share his battle with mental health that began shortly after his mom, Princess Dianna died in the traumatic tunnel accident when he was 9. He said he never really processed that loss and in his later years turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with the pain of that loss. 

In my years of doing grief work with people, I  heard other men shared this same thing with me. Somehow, it is unmacho for men to bear their grief with people for it is this false narrative in the male circle then men do not cry and men need to be strong so they can carry the burdens of their family on their shoulders.  

 Grief therapists tell us that unprocessed trauma will resurface at a time that is least expected and to heal from their grief they must go back to the original moment when the trauma occurred and unravel the emotions associated with that loss. Some are able to do this by talking to trusted listeners while others may need a trauma-based therapist to help guide this conversation.

For men, the unfortunate consequence of unprocessed grief is a life filled with significant chemical addiction, unhealthy eating, weight gain, a heart that doesn't work as well as it should, and for some an early death.  For men to heal from the loss they must turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to carry the burden that has become too much to carry.  They must learn that it is okay for men to cry and not be afraid to face the numerous emotions that come and go at a whim's notice. They must also find a group of trusted listeners who are willing to listen to their pain without judgment or simply, " why don't you just get a hobby and get over it?'  

I encourage everyone, young and old, to consider starting a journal after the loss of a loved one and begin writing down all of your thoughts, good and bad, into it.  Those thoughts you took the time to write down will eventually reveal to you how much better you are doing with your grief through time. This was what I discovered after my profound loss.  

Finally, Jesus Christ, the one who died for you wants to be your guide on this journey.  In a perfect world, the pain you feel after a loss wouldn't be there, but Christ assures us that He will make all things new because of what he did on the cross.  All we have to do is trust him with our pain.

If you aren't sure if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to recite this prayer in your quiet time:  "Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life.

If you said that prayer with heartfelt meaning, I assure you that your name is written in the Lamb's book of life.  Regardless of your present world view, Jesus is calling you. Won't you answer the call today?