For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I recently began reading this book and in that process became fascinated by the wealth of information about men and the way they process emotional pain and trauma. From time to time, I will be sharing what I’ve learned from this book so you can better understand the men in your lives, or for men to better understand why they are the way they are and who they ought to be in the eyes of God.
Dr. Stephen shares his experience that in his darkest moments one important lesson: “wounds can make you or break you. It is not the deepness of the wound that kills you, but your refusal to face reality and step forward. He then goes on and states that wounds come in myriad shapes and sizes, but they all have one thing in common: Pain.
1. I'm not wounded ( denial)
2. I won’t talk about my wounds. ( Shame and Isolation)
3. My wounds reduce who I am and what I can accomplish (Identity sabotage)
4. God did this to me.( Blame)
5. I won’t seek help; I can do it myself ( Pride)
6. Nobody can help me. (Hopelessness)
7. If God cared, He wouldn’t have let this happen (Playing the orphan)
He shares why these thought patterns are not healthy. These negative thought patterns can endow your wounds with more power than they warrant. He adds that your wounds can be life-realigning, strength building checkpoints, for they force us to turn to the inexhaustible source of all strength.
Dr. Stephen adds this thought: “ We cannot change the past, no matter how hard we try. All of our hurts, injustices, disappointments, and tragedies have slipped into history, beyond our control.
Even so, it is within our power to control something about the present: We can change how we view the painful realities that have touched our lives. From the mouth of Jeremiah, he shares these words about the source of our present power: “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope ( Jeremiah 29:11)
1. For some the wound is just a scratch—it stings, but it doesn’t sideline you.
2. For some it’s a scar- it reminds you of a long past battle, maybe internally resolved, maybe not. Your wound could be a scab- it covers a fresh injury that is in the process of healing- no problem as long as no one bumps it or picks at it.
He ends his chapter with this statement: “God never promised to protect us from all wound, but He did promise to stand by us to help us win the fight. Then he adds that every man has a story to tell. He writes that he will explore the challenges unique to each masculine injury.
In a future blog, I will write about further information from this very engaging book that is hard to put down.
Dr. Stephen shares his experience that in his darkest moments one important lesson: “wounds can make you or break you. It is not the deepness of the wound that kills you, but your refusal to face reality and step forward. He then goes on and states that wounds come in myriad shapes and sizes, but they all have one thing in common: Pain.
He describes the bad coping methods when faced with pain:
1.
1. I'm not wounded ( denial)
2. I won’t talk about my wounds. ( Shame and Isolation)
3. My wounds reduce who I am and what I can accomplish (Identity sabotage)
4. God did this to me.( Blame)
5. I won’t seek help; I can do it myself ( Pride)
6. Nobody can help me. (Hopelessness)
7. If God cared, He wouldn’t have let this happen (Playing the orphan)
He shares why these thought patterns are not healthy. These negative thought patterns can endow your wounds with more power than they warrant. He adds that your wounds can be life-realigning, strength building checkpoints, for they force us to turn to the inexhaustible source of all strength.
Dr. Stephen adds this thought: “ We cannot change the past, no matter how hard we try. All of our hurts, injustices, disappointments, and tragedies have slipped into history, beyond our control.
Even so, it is within our power to control something about the present: We can change how we view the painful realities that have touched our lives. From the mouth of Jeremiah, he shares these words about the source of our present power: “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope ( Jeremiah 29:11)
He then describes these wounds:
1.
1. For some the wound is just a scratch—it stings, but it doesn’t sideline you.
2. For some it’s a scar- it reminds you of a long past battle, maybe internally resolved, maybe not. Your wound could be a scab- it covers a fresh injury that is in the process of healing- no problem as long as no one bumps it or picks at it.
3/ For others it is sore- it is tender and raw with sharp, shooting pain that constantly reminds you or its presence.
In a future blog, I will write about further information from this very engaging book that is hard to put down.
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