6 When Jesus saw him lying there, knowing that he had already been there a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”7 The sick man answered him, “Sir,[b] I don’t have anyone who can put me in the water when it is stirred up. When I’m trying to get to it, someone else has gotten in ahead of me.”8 Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 Immediately the man was well, and he picked up his mat and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath. John 5:6-8
No, this isn't a movie review of that current movie that was trending over the Valentine's weekend.
I was thinking of lamp shades.
Every store that sells shades sell a variety of them . Depending on how much light you want to diffuse into the room you are trying to design. Some rooms want just a little light, enough to set the mood of the room. Other rooms cry out for a lot of light. Whatever the light dimension you are desiring there is a lamp shade to help.
As I wrote this blog post I am reminded by the numbers of people who sit in silence with long forgotten stories within, long forgotten by the person who knew that person, but stories that still linger in the inner soul of that person. Stories that bring back images of the battle field, images of the loss, traumatic images of the loved one who died seemingly linger on in the imagination of the person living their loss.
" Are you still dealing with that?", said one person to a grieving widow, " You should be over that by now--like it has been a year since he died." It seems only in the American culture do we try to get people to bury their grief before they are even ready to let it go.
"The war is long since over," says one to a long suffering veteran. "The world is at peace and it is time to forget about the past."
Like the store that sells shades we try to get the person to completely cover up their pain source with no possibility of helping that person recover fully from their pain.
I learned first hand that the only way I was able to travel this road of traumatic loss ( think EMT's, ambulance, calling the time of death) was to journal my pain and talk to others, willing to listen, about that pain. I also learned that reading my bible and consistently attending a worship service each Sunday at a local church was the only way I was going to recover from those images.
For me, attending Church was the one constant I had before my loss and it was the one constant I had after it. Church was a source of comfort and gave me the hope of where my loved was presently lives.
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Before the tragic loss of our loved one, I must admit, I was more concern with the petty things in church: whether my needs were being met by what our Pastor taught. After the loss it was though my soul had been soften ready to fully absorb what the Pastor would say to me from the pulpit.
I remembered not longer after our loss talking to a friend who was more self absorbed by the petty things of the church telling me all the things that were wrong with the current state of the church, but I on the other hand saw none of the things this man saw for where we were at this particular season of our grief looked forward to this Pastor's teaching with pages upon pages of tightly written sermon notes. I have learned from my journey that brokenness opens up a small crack in heaven and gives us for one brief moment a glimpse of heaven and helps us to see life in the holy scriptures we hold in our hand.
In the case of recovering from grief and sorrow silence is not golden. Sharing our pain with others willing to listen begins the healing process. I learned from Chris Kyle's story that his accuracy with the gun saved thousands of American lives. His comrades knew that this sniper was watching their backs.
Isn't it time for us to watch each others backs when traumatic grief enters their lives. The only way to help them recover from those traumatic images is to sit with them in the muck and mire of their grief until they have told their story so many times that it no longer haunts them in their dreams.
God wants us to recover from our emotional losses and help us to live and thrive. As your recovery takes place you will be given the capacity to help others overcome their pain. Learning to share our pain, not burying it, is the beginning of learning to live again.
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