As you begin to recover from grief there are moments in time you wish you could reclaim

What a difference two days make. June 9th was a beautiful Saturday when we brought our daughter home from the hospital. We were in a celebratory mood as we looked toward the future of improved quality of life for our little girl. Then the inevitable happened.  The moment the chaplain came out of her bedroom where he received the grim news that our daughter could not be revived it was as though the trap door below us had opened and we were plunged down a narrow passageway of darkness and despair with no end in sight. We could hear occasional supportive words of encouragement, but our rational minds could not grasp those concepts.

When we slowly began to see light it was then that I noticed that we were different than we were the afternoon on June 9th. Our lives took an abrupt detour through the land of despair and all 3 of us began to grieve so differently almost like we all spoke a different language and had different customs.  We thought we knew each other, but in fact we didn't. 

As grief continues it is common to react to others in ways that you normally would not respond that way. As I tried to work through the anger stage of my grief I said some things to my wife that I knew I shouldn't have said.  It was as though I was blindly throwing darts at a dartboard and missing the mark each time.  In time I began to see the collateral damage I had made with my poorly use of words.

I credit my involvement in a trusting therapeutic relationship with a clinical psychologist and the various grief support groups for helping me 'keep my sanity' and to help me  reconnect with my family. Our family's faith in Jesus Christ and the support from our church were phenomenal.  As we traveled those dark days those seemingly trite reminders that she was in heaven and Christ makes all things new again finally began to take root in our hurting souls so true healing can begin.

It is in grief that the whole biblical concept of 'forgiveness' becomes reality.  To see that Christ died for you and suffered on the cross for you is absolutely phenomenal in a time we feel like insignificant cogs in a machine.   It was through the atonement that God has forgiven your entire past of wrongdoings. Every word you may have said and every wrong deed you might have done has been entirely wiped clean because of what His son did on the cross.  God is truly amazing and he really makes all things new again. I was reminded that heaven is a very real place and although our little girl's journey ended our journey continues.

If you are grieving right now you can rest knowing that one day your rational thought process will return. Until that day arrives allow the comforting words of your friends and Pastor to seep into your soul where one day they will blossom into visible reminders about how far you have traveled in your grief journey and everything is going to be OK.

Heaven's reception line

In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about Paul who's life ended abruptly when he was hit by a car at a high speed. Because of Paul's decision to follow Christ he was brought to the equipment room in heaven where his worn out earthly body was exchanged for a brand new heavenly one. Paul could not believe how brand new his new heavenly body was in comparison to the 60 year old body which had seen it's better days.  He was amazed how well he could see and how well he could hear.  Paul was told by Jesus to explore his new surroundings and that there would be a reception in his honor with people he knew that came before him

Paul: " I don't think I have ever ran this fast since I was a kid! And I am not even tired!"

Jesus:: "one of the many benefits of this new place!"

Paul cocks his head in the direction of a faint sound of a song bird " Is that a song bird? i haven't heard that sound since I was a kid"

Jesus:  "You remember the bible and what it said about how all things would be made new again"?

Paul; " Yes. I think that is in 2 Corinthians 5;17! i remember memorizing that verse when i was in my discipleship group!"

Jesus:  " Because of what I did for you all things are new again!  There will be no more pain and no more hurts and sorrow."

Paul:  " It seems strange that I know I have a earthly family, but this overflowing perfect peace I have prevents me from worrying for them."

Jesus:  " Just as I rescued you from that car accident I will surround your family with the things they need to be strong and get through the fiery grief."

Paul:" I have confidence in your power to accomplish that."

Jesus: " Almost forgot, Paul, I got a prayer call from your children. They wanted me to give their father a hug from them."  Paul feels the embrace of the loving Savior.

Paul begins walking toward the reception hall and notices welcome home Paul banners and helium filled balloons and cake and ice cream on the reception hall table. As he got closer to the crowd of people his eyes begin to moisten up. He sees his grandmother who he hadn't seen since he was nine years old when she died.

Paul:  Mamo?"

Grandmother: " it is me. Welcome home Paul".
Paul gives his grandmother a hug as tears are streaming down his eyes.  Paul remembers it was his grandmother who often would pray for him when he went through those difficult early years.

Grandmother: " Is Heaven everything you thought it would be. Paul?" 

Paul: :" It is everything and even more.  I never thought about my new body I would be getting. It is so much better and makes me stronger and I can see and hear like nothing before."

Grandmother: " I remember how you were one of many grandchildren I would pray constantly for.  I knew that Jesus had great things for you".

Jesus:  "Paul, I do indeed remember all of those late night prayer calls from your grand mother and I answered every single one."  Paul's eyes moisten again as he gives his grandmother another hug.

Paul sees his Sunday school teacher.  He remembers the day Mr. Doughtherty lead his class with the salvation prayer and how he fervently said that prayer.

Paul: " Mr. Smith? is that my Sunday school teacher who lead me to the Lord?"

Sunday school teacher: " It is.  I am so happy you prayed that prayer and I am so happy you are here" he paused," You are going to love this place, Paul".

Paul walked over and noticed Roy, his discipleship leader from the Navigators group he was involved in for 2 years.

Paul: " Is that you Roy?" 

Roy: " It is. Welcome home Paul:"  Although Roy and Paul were the same age Roy went home after being diagnosed with cancer and passing away several years ago.  Paul remembers Roy for his challenging references to always being in the word of God and memorization the bible verses.  Paul will always remember Roy for the accountability he instilled in the group and how important it is for one's Spiritual growth and maturity.  

Paul walks a little further and noticed a small child.  As he approached he noticed that it wasn't just any child, but it was his son who died several years ago.  Paul choked up as his son ran up to him for a hug.

Paul: "Jeremy! I am so happy to see you!"

Jeremy: "Dad, do you remember the night I left earth?"

Paul: "I sure do Jeremy.  Our family cried and grieved because we knew you were never going to be with us until we got to heaven." 

Jeremy: " Dad, you will be happy to know that the first person I saw that night was Jesus when he came down to bring me home.  I felt this warm glow as though I was being told not to worry and that everything was going to be AOK.

Paul: " The same warm glow the moment I was struck by the speeding car"

Jeremy: " Yah that warm glow. You will be happy to know Dad that from the moment I have been in heaven it has been a beautiful time.  In this place there is no more pain or sorrow because we are with the Savior who came to prepare  a place for us."

Jesus: :" Paul and Jeremy, I just got a prayer call from your family.  They wanted me to give you two a hug from your mom and your brothers and sisters."

Jesus embraces both Paul and Jeremy.

Jeremy leads his dad to someone he really wanted him to know.

Jeremy: " Dad, this lady was my drama camp teacher.  Mrs. Anders was the one who prayed the salvation prayer the very morning I prayed along with her!"

Paul: " good to see you again!  I remember talking with you about Jeremy's accepting Jesus. I remember how my wife and I rejoiced and praised God in heaven.

Jesus:" I do remember how happy you were when Jeremy accepted me into his heart."

Mrs. Anders: "I always get a lump in my throat when one of my students prays the prayer!"  ''

Paul spent the next couple of hours meeting family and friends he hadn't seen in many years.

Jesus: " Are you enjoying yourself Paul?" 

Paul looks around the room full of friends.

Paul:  "Jesus, I am having a great time... It is good to be home." Paul turns and looks out the large stain glass window and is amazing of the beauty he sees outdoors.  The lush green trees, the blue lakes, and the song birds chirping which he can hear with his new heavenly body.He knew that he was going to love this place!

Where are the compassionate people?

Mark 8:2 I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.

In this mornings Star Tribune newspaper I saw the headline in the north metro section. It simply read that Oak Grove city council refuses to recognize homeless awareness month.  Every other city in Anoka county agreed to pass this recognition except Oak Grove. One council member  believes that it isn't the responsibility for Anoka County or the cities to be pouring in tax payer dollars into programs for the homeless. He would prefer funding come through private donations. This council member went on to say how much he appreciates places like Mary's place in Minneapolis which only receives private funding.

The refusal to recognize that there is a problem with homelessness  is akin to sticking one's head in the sand and hoping the problem would just go away.  What these council members don't seem  to recognize is that  for the first time ever there is a 80 person waiting list for Anoka County lone homeless shelter, but then again if they ignore the problem it doesn't exist..

The reality is that homelessness does indeed exist. Once proud and successful people become homeless because of disability, economic or simply having unexpected high medical expenses that sends their mortgage into foreclosure.

One Sunday there was a homeless person who happened to walk into the building our Sunday school class was meeting in because he needed  a place to stay,  As I reflect on this person's situation I was reminded that the homeless have very few options of where they could go.

Not in my neighborhood seems to be rallying cry of many of the outlying suburbs.  Many may have forgotten, but before the city of Minneapolis stepped in to approve Mary Jo's place, this woman with a heart of gold tried to get some of the southern suburbs to approve plans for her homeless shelter.  One by one she presented full color displays and one by one each city rejected those plans essentially telling her, "not in our neighborhood."  It is more prestigious to have a upscale mall than a well designed homeless shelter in their back yard.

Whether we want to believe it or not homelessness is a growing problem and we do not need politicians to stick their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist.  Unless we give people the dignity of having a bed to sleep on and food to eat they will never be able to work toward bettering their lives by retooling their skills  so they can find a decent job so they can afford permanent housing.  The homeless are in a state of survival where their primary focus is looking for their next meal.  They cannot focus on self actualization as Abraham Mazlow describes in his hierarchy of needs..

Just for once I would like the general public to reflect on the numbers of people who have gone on to become successful as a result of the safety net programs.  

It seems that we are more concerned about creating brand new stadiums to house our professional sports teams and provide creature comforts for those attending them than we are when we pass by a dirty person with a card board sign that says, " please help me, I'am homeless"  Why is it we are OK about spending billions of tax payer money on new ball parks for the wealthy than we are about spending money that will provide a safety net for those who find themselves homeless?

The video tape included on this blog interviews men who have found themselves homeless.  As you will see from this video these men are not too much different from you or I.