Do not underestimate the power of father's in our children's lives

3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3



Recently, our family had a nest of  duck eggs waiting to be hatched. Yesterday, I learned that most of the ducklings hatched with the ma ma duck walking her babies away to a new life. Some of those ducks never made it and laid in their now dead in their shell.

At the very heart of the problems in society is the absence of fathers. Men have become lover's of themselves and instead of focusing on their families they lust after money, fame, sex, and they become obsessed with their bodies to the point where they set the standard for their spouses and if their spouse refuses to meet that standard they are out of there.

Over the years my heart as ached over the news of friends leaving their wives, leaving their children without a father, and throwing their families into financial turmoil. Once having the relative comfort and security of a stable home families have been forced to leave their homes for the unstable lifestyle of apartment living and wondering where their next meal will come from. Children go from seeing their dad on a daily basis and being tucked into bed every night with a bedtime story to seeing their dad's weekly, if they are lucky, but in an environment away from their how most children see their dad's.

The absence of father's is equivalent in many family units as hopelessness. As much as the church tries to meet the needs of a newly divorce family nothing can possibly replace the love and affection of a dad playing with his kids, hugging those kids, wiping their tears, and encouraging them with words of hope.

Children in the environment of not having a dad will turn to things that will not be healthy for them. Drugs, alcohol, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and staying out all night will become these children's constant companions because when dad leaves the home it leaves mom with little choice than to attempt to pick up the pieces by working more and spending less time with them.

The solution, although in many eyes, seems overly simplified, is for men to keep their marriage vows they made to their wife and to love them until death do you part. Keeping your vow you made to your wife is the single most important thing you can do to keep your family together and give hope to your children. It sends a message to your kids that God is very real and he wants to be part of your life just as He has been part of my life. Remaining faithful to your wife helps your children be secure with who they are and enables them to become who they can be in Christ. Staying committed to your family is a patriotic thing to do just as going to war to defend your country. Men, we are called to defend our families and keep them from harm's way.

If you are entertaining thoughts of leaving your family I would encourage you to be accountable to other men in your life who's marriages are still intact and talk with someone about what you are feeling. The survival of your children just very well may depend on that decision.

Man's inhumanity toward man

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  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding  
  Ephesians 1: 3-6
  
  
  Man's inhumanity toward man. We read about in the newspapers. We see it on our 24-7 news channels. We hear about as we get the capsule news on our local radio channel. All of this daily dose of bloody gore is destine to make a man mad and convinced him that the world is a very dangerous place to be. We hear about  a murder 10 miles away and automatically assume that crime is with us and we must protect our family by purchasing a expensive security system or learning to protect ourselves either by taking  personal defense classes or getting a permit to carry a concealed weapon.
  
  
  We are living life through the eyes and feet of the television/radio/ print media news person and the behaviors we exhibit are anything but trusting.  Some of us are so convinced of the dangers of our local culture that we put our homes up for sale and we move into the far reaching suburbs thinking it will be safer.  We let the media dictate what is dangerous failing to realize that most homicides are not random and most crimes have to do with bad choices people make.
  
  
  Lately, i began re-thinking  my previous conception of man's inhumanity toward man by simply spending more time out doors. Instead of driving the car with my windows close and my radio piped up just to go to my son's soccer game or to the store I have chosen to either walk or ride my bike.  I discovered that the world is not as dangerous of a place as my local and national commentators portray it to be!
  
  
  When we lose a loved one through a sudden medical event our first inclination is to want to hibernate indoors and  not include others in your life. We become like little hobbits living in our small personal world of solitude and when we do allow people into our lives we do so by tuning into the 24 hour news channel. The news we hear makes us even more depressed and more determine to keep people out. We build this fortress around us and we watch for potential intruders  in order to keep them out.
  
  
  The problem with this thought process is that this is not want God intended for our lives. God intended us to live in peace.  By trusting God instead of the news media and inviting his son Jesus Christ to come in and dwell within you God will change you to see people with needs just like you instead of people who are vile and untrustworthy.  CHANGE  is good because it takes away the human desire to think like a fortress dweller and more like someone truly interested in getting to know the people around you.  
  
  
  Our God is there to help change your life for the better.  All it takes is a choice on your part to invite Christ to become part of your life.  if you take the time to do this  then the seed has been planted  and in time God will help get rid of the bad and ugly stuff from your life and give you the beauty that helps you see the humanity God wants you to see

Placing all of your hopes and dreams on the surviving child

                                                                     


Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

The loss of a child can mean unconsciously placing all of your hopes and dreams on the remaining surviving child.  You no longer have the hopes and dreams for the one who has died and while you are grieving for those lost dreams you had for that child it is a normal reaction to want to double up your hopes and dreams on the surviving child.   As a dad we want nothing but the best for that child. If we are not careful and we stray from the scriptures it is common to get our view of success from the world's perspective instead of God's perspective.

Which is why I think God reminded me about the verse in Matthew about the little sparrow and how He takes care of them and yet aren't we more important than them? Instead of worrying about every little mistake my surviving child makes I have to allow my son to make his own mistakes and not to take every mistake as a sign that he isn't going to be s successful.

I have to remember that as a kid I myself wasn't the 'perfect' child. I messed up, had up days and down days in school, and yet, God showed me the way I should go. How quickly does it seem we forget that perspective? How quickly do we forget how far God has brought us?

Instead of worrying about my son's future I ought to be on my knees in pray for his future. Instead of worrying what college he will attend, or what career he will complete I ought to pray that our God will guide his choices to the right career he has in store for him. Instead of getting my insight on worldly success I ought to wrap my mind around Scripture and become like Christ. Only then can I possibly see that God loves my child and wants nothing but the best for him.

This song about Matthew 5:26 is a powerful reminder of how much God loves us and provides for all of our needs. Because of that knowledge we can sit back and let God be God and allow him to guide our child to the calling He has for him.