This past week we said goodbye to a marvelous singer-Aretha Franklin

31 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

This past week, we lost a music legend when Aretha Franklin died after a battle with pancreatic cancer. The song, I'll say a little prayer for you, speaks of every woman's heart desire for the men in their lives.  

Lately, we have been bombarded with bad examples of men as seen through the eyes of the 'me-too' movement and our political figures who seem to be blinded by the reality that their actions have harmed women. 

When women fall in love, they bond to the man. When they marry, two hearts become one.  The leaders of this country, are poor examples we men should follow when it comes to encouraging the woman in our lives. Some married men I know see no reason to not to enjoy a meal with a female colleague alone in the absence of their wife. I disagree with this practice and sure enough, I've watched married men walk away from their marriage vows- leaving bewildered children and wives to needlessly suffer.  Many who have been betrayed become like ships without a rudder trying to navigate through dangerous seas.   From year one of our marriage, I made sure to never be alone with another woman unless my wife was with me. I remember when my wife and I wrote our marriage vows. I made sure to include the phrase 'for better or for worse' in my vow to Linda. 

At the time I wrote this vow, it was becoming increasingly popular to leave that sentence out- in fact, prenuptial agreements were all the rage and a profit-making opportunity for attorneys who were successful  making couples insecure and keep that marriage door slightly ajar 'just in case'- as though couples were in it for the short term until someone better comes along. But I knew that for better or for worse I was going to love my wife through whatever fierce storms came our way.   I was in it for the long haul and so was my wife! Not even the death of a child, sickness, or disability could tear us apart!  

Lyrics: I say a little prayer for you.

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little prayer for you

While combing my hair now,

And wondering what dress to wear now,I say a little prayer for you 

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you 

Forever, and ever, we never will partTo live without you

Oh, how I love youTogether, forever, that's how it must be

Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear, While riding I think of us, dear,

I say a little prayer for you.

And all through my coffee break-time,

At work I just take time I say a little prayer for you. and I will love you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart

Oh, how I'll love youForever, and ever we never will part together, forever, that's how it must be, say a little prayer for you

To live without you would only mean heartbreak for me.

TI say a little prayer for you My darling believe me, ( believe me)

For me, there is no one but you!

Please love me too (answer his pray)And I'm in love with you 

(answer his prayer)

Answer my prayer now babe (answer his prayer)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart forever, and ever we never will part and I will love you

Oh, how I'll love you would only mean heartbreak for me 

(oooooooooh)Together, forever, t

that's how it must be to live without you

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

Every couple of years I sit as an election judge to help make sure our election day process is fair and impartial. Though the days are long and at times tedious and boring, I continue performing this function because I believe in the democratic process that makes our great nation one of the greatest nations to live in.


I must admit though that there are some who lose that hope, but what I saw last night were people who were excited about exercising their right to vote. I saw the mom's accompanying their 18-year-old adult children and witnessing their first time voting experiences and their beaming smiles that they did it. I watched one new voter doing a victory fist in the air the moment the vote counting machine successfully captured their ballot. I watched 'new American's casting their vote and the smiles as they witnessed their vote being counted. I could not help picturing them living in their former countries where groups of dangerous militias kept them from voting.


Like in all the other years, I think we place a false hope in the candidates we elect. We think they're infallible and worse, we place them on a pedestal as though they are a god. Yet, if we do that we resign ourselves to a personal calamity when we learned their candidates personal and professional failing that they are not perfect, nor are they there to assure your own personal happiness.


But our God in heaven, the one who sent his son, Jesus, to die for you, is the one who wants to at the center of your being. 2 Corinthians 4:16 is a reminder that while outwardly we're wasting away ( aging process, effects of cancer, and other diseases) our inward being is being renewed day by day.


This is a poetic reminder that God gives us a reason to live in this world regardless of what challenges we might be facing.


Our politicians are not perfect which means after they are elected we need to consider writing to them about the issues we care about. Politicians, I've learned are especially drawn to the letters that are written from the heart- some that flow out of the personal tragedies of their lives- another reminder that God will not waste your pain.

As the ladies were having their bridal shower, the future father's-in-law went on a history lesson at the William Bunnell home

It's no secret that I'm a huge history buff!  So, when the two future father's in law had to skedaddle once the bridal shower started, we went on a tour of the William Bunnell house east of Winona.  The upstairs of this home taught me something about the impact that grief had on this family. In one of the children's bedroom, there were two boys who died. One drown.   In another room, there were two daughter's who died. One died from complications of diabetes. There was a third daughter that simply disappeared as there didn't seem to be any record of her. 

The period actress who gave us the tour explained that this grief affected William Bunnell so much that when some came over to ask for one of their deceased son's he simply looked down at the floor unable to say anything at all. This was at a time in history that it was very commonplace for parents to lose a child, but I had this sense that the intense feelings associated with this loss were as devastating then as it is now.  

I learned from this history tour that grief is very much a part of life.  Unlike the era of William Bunnell, we have so much more information available to help us with navigating grief when it hits us.

One resource is a 13-week Griefshare group that teaches you how to go through the pain of loss, not around it. I encourage everyone experiencing the pain of grief to go to  https://www.griefshare.org/ and find a group near you.