You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. C.S. Lewis
Our emotions lie to us, and we need to counter our emotions with truth. Billy Graham
This song sung by, America, a popular group from the 70's resonates with many going through grief-that has stood the test of time even today.
Grief is a lonely experience that leaves people lost and bewildered when it happens. As though they're alone on an island with absolutely no human connection. When the funeral ends and the flowers have wilted is whenwe notice friends who drifting away and sadness becomes overwhelming. At first, I saw this as outright rejection of my suffering, but, over time I learned that my friends haven't rejected me, but merely needed to get back to their own lives.
This is for all the lonely people Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup And ride that highway in the sky.
This stanza is a reminder for us all to turn to God to help us through our sorrow.
This is for all the single people Thinkin' that love has left them dry Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup You never know until you try We grieve for all those moments that we might have missed with our loved one.
Our sadness makes us think that life has passed us by like a slow moving car on a freeway of faster moving ones. Our brains take longer to process information we once were able to do faster. Our minds become consumed by the heavy emotions as we try to find a way out of the black hole.
Often, this is a time when we hit a proverbial fork in the road.
One path leads us the Lord while the other path leads us down a destructive path of anger, unforgiveness, drugs and alcohol.
Well, I'm on my way Yes, I'm back to stay Well, I'm on my way back home
A person who leans on the Lord to help them conquer their pain often comes out stronger and more resiliant than they were before grief.
This is for all the lonely people Thinkin' that life has passed them by Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup Never take you down or never give you up Never know until you try
Grief is so individualize that there really isn't a set time line before you're healed, nor can you compare you're grief with someone else going through the process.
For a parent losing a child, it may take at least 10 years to fully recover. Grief isn't like a light switch you can simply turn off. This may sound daunting to those who simply want the pain to end, but I can offer some tips from my own experience tp help you on the grief journey.
1. Continue doing the same rituals you were doing before your loss. For me, this meant continuing to attend a the same weekly church service I attended before the loss. I watched some bereaved people stop going to church all together because of how it hurts sitting in the sanctuary without your loved one. By regularely going to church you allow God to use others around you to befriend you and help you heal.
2. Seek out wise counsel from a therapist that understands the effects of trauma on people. Sudden deaths can be especially grualing on people and a good therapist will walk with you to better understand the effects of trauma on your loss.
3. Schedule an appointment to get some blood workup and a physical exam with your primary care provider. Grief can have such a profound impact on the body that the chemistry falls out of alignment.
One example of this is the sometimes fatal effects of broken heart syndrome.
One well known example was the death of Carrie Fisher's mom. A short time later this star wars icon died from broken heart syndrome.
4. Practice self care such as signing up for a griefshare.org group nearest you. This is especially important because it is critical you find a support group of people who are non-judgemental and supportive of what you're going through. Another example of self care is getting a step counter and setting a goal of achieveing 5,000 to 10,000 steps.
God understands what you're going through because He also lost a son. It was the resurrection of his son that made it possible for all of us to see our loved ones again. Now that is a beautiful thought. For those looking for a griefshare group, you can locate one at Griefshare.org.
Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Daniel M. Peek / Catherine L. Peek
