Mile Markers of grief

Ezekiel 34:12

As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.

I must admit that this has been a hard week in terms of coping with the grief and loss of my daughter.  Places I was at brought back  reminders of our little girl. As we watched the Olympic games from Soichi, Russia I could not help but reflect on earlier Olympic moments sitting on the couch with my family of four with a couple of bowls of popcorn enjoying the festivities of those opening ceremonies. 

I remember how we would give Maria her nebulizer treatments during those ceremonies so when we put her to bed she could just go to sleep. I recalled doing her much needed therapy stretches of her left leg and foot remembering if we were diligent enough with this that just maybe we could bring her to adulthood without need of the usual surgery they often do with kids with Cerebral Palsy. Just like Peyton Manning probably did following his team's worst Super bowl loss ever I second guess all of my decisions and wondered where things had fallen apart.

Every day there are people who die for no reason at all other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  While their loved one is in heaven the family is left behind trying to make sense of the senseless tragedy. Grief and sorrow become constant companions who never want to leave your side. Moments come where you walk into a public place and see a person that looks markedly like your love one leave you crying. As our Children's Pastor and first responder the night our daughter died reminded us, "there are going to be many Maria's in life that will remind you of your daughter." 

 I wished I had a magic formula that would wipe the slate clean or when tragedy strikes offer you a 'do over' moment where you simply step into your time capsule, set the date you want to go back to in order to remind your loved one to take a different path or make that crucial medical decision that would save your loved ones life, but I can't. 

Life doesn't work that way. Death will come to loved ones we know and somehow the grief we enter into must be traveled until the light we see at the end of our period of prolong sorrow.  One thing I do know is  we have a Savior who wants to walk with you on your journey of grief. Jesus Christ was there for me the moment my daughter died. Jesus reminded me in Scripture that he would never leave me, nor forsake me. Whenever I cried, Jesus cried.  When I was too weak to walk some days Jesus picked me up and carried me until there were only one set of footprints in the sand. Jesus reminded me to keep looking forward and each Sabbath day honor Him with my presence in church. In the beginning you will not likely sing and you may end up crying where everyone is praising,  but I promise you that if you keep walking with Jesus things will get better and in time God will begin to use you in the lives of others just entering their period of forlorn sorrow.

I was able to cherish moments of joy watching these Olympic opening ceremonies. As I watched each country make their appearance I would focus on the incredible joy on their faces as they undoubtedly exclaimed, "we made it!"  That same expression is heard by our loved ones as our Savior Jesus Christ wraps his arms around our loved ones and exclaims to them, "welcome home."