Man's best friend

Man's best friend

10And the ransomed of the LORD will return

And come with joyful shouting to Zion,

With everlasting joy upon their heads.

They will find gladness and joy,

And sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:10

Monday evening I received a call from my sister to let me know that Gracie had died. She was overwhelmed by  grief as I spoke with her.  Gracie was not a person. Gracie was her 13 year old cocker spaniel. who simply grew old and passed away. There were wonderful memories with this dog. For me Gracie's passing brought back memories when our kids were small and we watched them interact with Gracie, their other dog Patches and our dog Princess.  Although they are gone now each one left their mark on our hearts.. I learned that even with the loss of a pet we have to be very careful what we say to someone who has lost one. 

Comments like, "you can always get another dog" are not appropriate at that moment.  At that moment the person doesn't want just any dog. They want their dog back  Instead,  the person needs for you to acknowledge  their loss.  They want you to remember their dog with a memory.  To share a moment in time you had with their dog is perhaps the greatest gift you can give to a person mourning the loss of a pet.

The loss of a pet can bring up other losses we might not have fully processed.  The loss may bring up memories when we brought our dog over to a loved ones  home who is no longer there, or it may bring up another loss in your home. Simply, the loss of a pet can be compounded by other unprocessed losses. If you have been reading these blogs for long you probably have heard me say over and over again that 'American's are not very good in the grief compartment.'. We would rather bury our grief with busyness than to take a moment to process the tears we feel floating down our faces.

 I like to use the illustration of  a person on a sail boat. It is a calm day until the winds really pick up. When that happens the person has to lean into the wind so their boat doesn't capsize.  When emotions are bubbling up lean into your grief and find yourself a trusted listener who will at least acknowledge your loss without giving you platitudes like 'you can always get another dog'.

Dogs are wonderful creatures. When we invest our time in them they pay dividends with lots of hugs, kisses for years to come.  When you come home at night they will wag their tails with excitement to let you how happy they are to see you.     Hang on to those memories.

 In my sister's case hang on to the memories you had with Gracie. Gracie left a mark on your life. I have said the only way any of us can avoid going through the emotional roller coaster ride of grief would be to hole up in a cave somewhere and not have any human contact  To do so would be a lonely existence that wouldn't be worth living for.

God give us pets to take care of and to love. They add quality to our lives. To be loved is perhaps our greatest need and certainly our pets provide that to us. So when the loss of a pet overwhelms you let someone know. Turn to your friends for comfort and if you need to, find a trusted listener who can help you process this pain of this loss. 

 Remember, our God is no stranger to grief. He watched his son die on the cross for our sin's so that one day we would be with him in heaven. God wants to walk with you in your grief journey. Go ahead and ask him because you will be glad you did.