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Sunday, September 15, 2013

And the stones cry out


 
John 14:9
9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?


Yesterday, I went to a friends sale. He was selling several decades of LP's, cassettes and CD's from a business he created that helped support his family.  Among these treasures I found two of my first Christian music artists after coming to Christ. It brought back memories of the many changes that had occurred in my life from that single decision I made in the Spring of 1974.  Life has been good.  

As I browse through the thousand's of mint shape LP's Mitch asked how I was doing. He knew of our family's loss of our little girl Maria. We talked about grief.  We both agreed that American's, or most people for that matter, are not real good in the grieving department.  We want to bury it ( sorry about the pun) and then forget about it and move on with our lives.  We try to keep it hidden not knowing that unless we process our emotions the pain of that loss keeps surfacing.  Mitch shared with me about a Pastor friend of his who lived in Rochester, Mn with his young child and his wife.  One day this friend and his wife came home to find the lifeless body of their 9 year old who they learned died from a perfect storm of events. He said this loss effected his friend and his wife for many years. The good news this couple is still married. The pain of their loss has never left them, but it did get better in time.  

As I go through each day I am reminded over and over again that Jesus is walking with me through my grief. The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are filled with incredible scriptural images of a compassionate  Jesus caring for healing the sick, bringing back a dead Lazarus, and resurrecting from the dead much like he had predicted.  Just like the shortest verse in the bible I know that when Maria died "Jesus wept".  I also know from all of the evidence in the bible and the archaeological finds that Jesus is God and I can rest every night knowing that the same God who brought my child to heaven is the same God who walks with me every day of my life.  That is the assurance I have to get me through those troubling moments that all of us will have in this life. 

My son reminded me that one of the most meaningful conversations he had with his dad came the second Sunday after losing Maria.  He was just 12 when he sat on his bed looking up to me and asking dad " if he really needed to go to church?" He paused before adding," I don't feel like going to church."  If there is ever a pivotal moment for a dad this was it.  I give the right response and I would have kept him from veering off the course of life. I give him the wrong response and I set him on a course that is unpredictable and potentially dangerous. I looked into his eyes. I could see the hurt in him. Then the words I spoke I knew God had placed on my lips. " James, you know we could all stay home.  I know mom doesn't really feel like going to church.  I know you don't and I certainly do not, but if we all stay home from church we will have deprived ourselves of the kind words we might have received from our friends."  He sat there and thought about what I had just said. Then he got up and got dressed. Because of that particular response my son has never wanted to miss a day of church. When we are in pain sometimes the best thing we can do is place one foot in front of the other and just keep going.  To borrow the words of the little absent minded fish in 'Finding Nemo' just keep swimmin, just keep swimmin.'

When grief happens the pain will be there. Rather than try to bury the pain and move on let Jesus be your guide and allow him to walk with you. When pain just won't go away please find a church you can attend on a regular basis where you can get the emotional and spiritual support. Find a church that has an excellent children's and youth ministry that knows how to reach out to your kids.  Our God is wants to heal us of our grief and he does so by giving us hope for the future things to come.


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