Like most men, I loved what I did in my career. It gave me joy to see people rise about their barriers to become once again, successfully employed. Their succcess was partly their motivation and will to finally succeed in this life. Like most guys, work became a way to set aside the trauma when loss occurred because for one brief moment each day got to go their job to engage with the public. It was the single place where many didn't know he was hurting, much less that he loss someone who was precious to him.
What does a man do when retirement creeps up on him. How does he avoid the insufferable pain associated from his loss? How does he avoid the flashbacks and nightmares stemming to the time of his loss? He has no job to go to, no structure to his day to take his mind off of things. He thought he recovered from that loss because he learned to function at work without too much difficulty.
Here are some suggestions from a grieving dad who has been there. (1) Replace the glass of alcohol for water. Did you know that alcohol is a depressant that can actually make your life worse?
(2) Did you also know that any remaining unresolved grief can actually go into the cellular and organ level sometimes causing life threatening health issues. One medical doctor discovered this after years of research that involved interviewing children, teens and young adults. Unresolved grief is a dangerous thing to a grieving person. It can cause cancer, breathing disorders, heart and systhmic conditions.
(3) Make sure you get a healthy dose of structure and rituals in your life. We were divinely created by God in his own image. Our task is to worship God at a designated time and space each week. For me, I chose to worship my living Savior, Jesus Christ, with my wife at the same church we attended when our daughter was alive. My rationale is this gives us to model healthy grieving to those around us. It also allows us to receive a timely word of encouragment from someone in that sancturary.
(4) I encourage you to see your doctor and get a thorough check-up to make sure you stay healthy. Make sure to ask that blood workup is done just to give you peace of mind that nothing looming is happening under the skin.
(5) Join a exercise group so you can keep moving. The human body is meant to move and moving keeps those parts well lubricated.
(6) For some, you may need to join a grief group somewhere just so you can practice a little self care. I recommend griefshare.org as it is a group that goes for 14 weeks. The weekly lessons, video. and discussion will enhance your ability to function in life.
Get outside and stop and smell the roses in those retirement years becuase God loves you and continues to have a beautiful plan for your life.
but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philipians 4:6-7
It seems as though pain and suffering is everywhere on this planet. Thanks to social media and around the clock media coverage we can tune into any country to experience the pain they are experiencing. There isn't any delay in coverage because of the worldwide communication system we have that generates coverage instantaneously.
Every night I remind myself that I have a Savior who loves me and speaks to me through the Holy bible words of peace and encouragement. I bend my knees upon hearing the tragic mass shooting in New Orleans and pray for the victims that are still clinging to dear life. I call a friend when someone close to me is ailing to request prayer support.
Just before shutting my eyes for the night I will say a word of prayer to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I remember the prayer I said as a child.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. His love be with me through the night, and wake me with the morning light. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. In Jesus' name, Amen.
As a grownup I would often say a grown up version of that children's prayer.Toward the end ofmy prayer that my eyes would become heavier as I drift off to a deep sleep thinking of happier moments.
Lift your eyes to the hills
Remember where your help comes from
Lift your eyes to the hills
You'll never face a valley alone
I remember how the Lord met the needs of the major and minor prophets. He protected Daniel when he was in the lions den. He protected Joseph when he was sold to the Egytians by his brothers I imagine Joseph was initially worried about what might happen to him because Joseph wasn't aware of God's entire story of his life.But through his journey, God demonstrated time after time He was with him.
'Cause even when your heart is breakin'
And you've gone and lost your way
You're, you're gonna be okay>You're gonna be okay
I know that you're, you're gonna be okay>Not a care in this whole world can take that truth away
Those were the lyrics of one of Lauren Daigels songs.
Some of the greatest hymns flowed out tragedy.
Horatio Spafford, for example, knew something about life’s unexpected challenges. At the height of his business career,successful attorney and real estate investor who lost a fortune in the great Chicago fire of 1871 and at around the same time his beloved four-year-old son died of scarlet fever.
Thinking a vacation would do his family some good, he sent his wife and four daughters on a ship to England, planning to join them after he finished some pressing business at home. However, while crossing the Atlantic Ocean, the ship was involved in a terrible collision and sunk. More than 200 people lost their lives, including all four of Horatio Spafford’s precious daughters. His wife, Anna, survived the tragedy. Upon arriving in England, she sent a telegram to her husband that began: “Saved alone. What shall I do?”
Horatio immediately set sail for England. At one point during his voyage, the captain of the ship, aware of the tragedy that had struck the Spafford family, summoned Horatio to tell him that they were now passing over the spot where the shipwreck had occurred.1
As Horatio thought about his daughters, words of comfort and hope filled his heart and mind. He wrote them down, and they have since become a well-beloved hymn:
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll—
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul.2
P
erhaps we cannot always say that everything is well in all aspects of our lives. There will always be storms to face, and sometimes there will be tragedies. But with faith in a loving God and with trust in His divine help, we can confidently say, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”
No matter what pit you fall into, or what tragedy comes your way, you have a God who promises to bring you to safety from the journey you're on. I remember the words from Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing but in everything in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Instead of worrying and getting stress related chest pains He urges me to give him my worries, my anxieties and the things that prevent me from sleeping.
There are some who are afraid of dying. They do not want to focus on that thought because of the unknown; yet, as you read the book of Revelation, the vision given to the Apostle John, you begin to see that heaven is a very real place, a place made possible because of the gift given to us by God.
Heaven will be a place of joyous reunions of lost loved ones.
Before Jesus's final ascension into heaven, he said he is going to prepare a place for each of us. As you read Revelation your mind is blown by how realistic the vison given to John really is.
Oh, the end of all our breath is the beginning of new life
You're, you're gonna be alright
[God wants everyone to come to the cross of Jesus Christ. It takes a simple prayer to earn the assurance of salvation and eternal life in the new heaven.
Dear Jesus,
I know I'm a sinner. I know I have done terrible things in my life. I know that you are perfect. I confess my thoughts, words and deeds to you and ask you to forgive me for my sins. Jesus, I open the door to my heart and invite you to come into my life. Please help me clean up my thought life, help me clean and tossed things out that aren't glorifying to you. I thank you for the gift of eternal life]
The words found in John3:16, 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life,' take on new meaning with the revelation of a simple protein molecule that is in our bodies. According to Wikipedia, Laminins are high-molecular weight (~400 to ~900 kDa) proteins of the extracellular matrix. They are a major component of the basal lamina (one of the layers of the basement membrane), a protein network foundation for most cells and organs. The laminins are an important and biologically active part of the basal lamina, influencing cell differentiation, migration, and adhesion.[1][2]The laminin family of glycoproteins is an integral part of the structural scaffolding in almost every tissue of an organism. They are secreted and incorporated into cell-associated extracellular matrices. Laminin is vital for the maintenance and survival of tissues
laminin, like the steel rods of rebar, holding those concrete structures together, is literally the protein substance that holds us together! Heavy sigh, as I thought about those moments when we want to give up on life, or a goal because'we're not good enough', or because in our mind God made a mistake when he created me'. Sometimes, it seems, we can become our own worst enemy. Once I saw what laminin looked like (https://www.pinterest.com/pin/199988039672887021/ ) it suddenly made sense how God fearfully and wonderfully made us! We quite literally are marked throughout the body with this protein molecule which has become the glue that holds us together! When you understand laminin, that other Bible verse where it says in Philippians 4:13 ' I can do all this through him who gives me strength'.makes sense! It also makes sense that the greatest arsenal we have is the power of prayer which James 5 reminds us with these words: Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven. Yes, you are fearfully and wonderfully made as evidence of your unique DNA and laminin protein structure. You were not a mistake because of the methodical process he put into your particular DNA! Whether you live or die, you are the Lord's. He will be there when the good times roll, and he will be there when tragedy comes. God will quite literally hold you together until the storm passes, just as Colossians 1:17 states: 'He is before all things, and in him, all things hold together.'
The Laminin in your body, in the shape of the cross of Jesus, and your unique DNA is evidence of not only God's existence but how much God truly loves you!
