Sometimes work can be a buffer that protects us from the emotions of loss and when we don't have that distraction to go to our grief comes roaring back. The lament of a retired dad

Like most men, I loved what I did in my career. It gave me joy to see people rise about their barriers to become once again, successfully employed. Their succcess was partly their motivation and will to finally succeed in this life. Like most guys, work became a way to set aside the trauma when loss occurred because for one brief moment each day got to go their job to engage with the public. It was the single place where many didn't know he was hurting, much less that he loss someone who was precious to him.

What does a man do when retirement creeps up on him. How does he avoid the insufferable pain associated from his loss? How does he avoid the flashbacks and nightmares stemming to the time of his loss? He has no job to go to, no structure to his day to take his mind off of things. He thought he recovered from that loss because he learned to function at work without too much difficulty.

Here are some suggestions from a grieving dad who has been there. (1) Replace the glass of alcohol for water. Did you know that alcohol is a depressant that can actually make your life worse?

(2) Did you also know that any remaining unresolved grief can actually go into the cellular and organ level sometimes causing life threatening health issues. One medical doctor discovered this after years of research that involved interviewing children, teens and young adults. Unresolved grief is a dangerous thing to a grieving person. It can cause cancer, breathing disorders, heart and systhmic conditions.

(3) Make sure you get a healthy dose of structure and rituals in your life. We were divinely created by God in his own image. Our task is to worship God at a designated time and space each week. For me, I chose to worship my living Savior, Jesus Christ, with my wife at the same church we attended when our daughter was alive. My rationale is this gives us to model healthy grieving to those around us. It also allows us to receive a timely word of encouragment from someone in that sancturary.

(4) I encourage you to see your doctor and get a thorough check-up to make sure you stay healthy. Make sure to ask that blood workup is done just to give you peace of mind that nothing looming is happening under the skin.

(5) Join a exercise group so you can keep moving. The human body is meant to move and moving keeps those parts well lubricated.

(6) For some, you may need to join a grief group somewhere just so you can practice a little self care. I recommend griefshare.org as it is a group that goes for 14 weeks. The weekly lessons, video. and discussion will enhance your ability to function in life.

Get outside and stop and smell the roses in those retirement years becuase God loves you and continues to have a beautiful plan for your life.