Lessons from our grief, part 2 from Grief Share

Praise the Lord! He is good.God’s love never fails.2 Praise the God of all gods.God’s love never fails.3 Praise the Lord of lords.God’s love never fails. Psalm 136:1-3

I think one of the best takeaways from this week's Grief Share meeting was this notion that God loves us so much that he desires to be at the core of our suffering. 

When God sent his son, Jesus, to die the most excruciating death on the cross, it was to pay the penalty of all of our sin's. Think of that for a moment.  Before Christ was born, God expected all of us to be perfect because he detested sin.

 This was a burden that was impossible for most people to keep that He decided to become like us by being born to a virgin and living life as a common man to experience the things we experienced- except this time He would take the final sacrificial blows on the cross that would lead to the total forgiveness of all of our sin's, as long as we choose to receive this gift of eternal life from God.

Not only did Jesus become like us, but he walked among us teaching the things that truly mattered to his father in heaven. Jesus became our role model. Through his words of wisdom taught to him from the father above, we learned how to treat one another, how to encourage, and how to meet each other's needs, not from a worldly perspective, but God's perspective.

  In this day of age, the world is sorely lacking in moral absolutes. Through a relationship with Jesus, God gives us the boundaries that when followed will keep us on the straight and narrow, out of trouble and controversy, and away from the temptations of life that have caused so many in society to fall.

The lesson from grief share is to draw near to God's heart by reading the bible and by praying in conversation style the burdens you're facing today. God hears your anguish cries, your pleas for help, and your pain you feel.

In fact, the more you draw near to God through daily Bible reading, prayer and putting one foot in front of the other and attending Church much like you did before your loss,  your recovery from the loss will be easier to navigate with fewer complications.

What the world needs now is a revival for the hearts and minds for Jesus

 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3

I'm trying to wrap my head around why people become mass shooters. Not a pleasant thought to think there are those among us who become so hate filled they want to kill people. Fortunately, the vast majority of us are law-abiding, but it really doesn't take a lot of individuals to inflict trauma and emotional pain on the world we live in, not with 24-7 news coverage so prevailing in today's society.

As I started reading articles of about the recent shootings, I remembered a verse from the 2 Timothy about the Apostle Paul reminding his young protege, Timothy these words: 

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—  having a form of godliness but denying its power.

I don't think anyone would disagree that there have been some terrible days since September 11, 2001.

I remember, as a child in the 60's living through the Viet Nam war, watching college students protesting while chanting, 'make love, not war.' I also remember the gas wars of those years when we saw gas prices going over the dollar mark for the first time and the long lines of cars waiting to gas up.  I remember how frustrated my dad was forking out money to fill his tank while whispering under his breath that he would stop driving when the gas price moved over the one dollar mark.

I remember how popular heroin, LSD, and Marijuana was becoming and how a little-known Psychologist named Timothy Leary was raving about the mental health benefits of LSD.

This was also the decade where for the first time people were beginning to question the existence of God. The door was ajar and lawsuits were filed to prevent public schools from permitting prayer in the schools. 

As more and more people stopped believing, they turn to other things to fill the void in their God-shaped hole in their heart- drugs, alcohol, gambling.


The 70's became the decade when women made their way into the working world, and shortly thereafter a new cottage daycare industry was developed to care for their children. Now that their income doubled, they were no longer satisfied with the small rambler homes made famous in the post World War 2 years, so bigger homes became the norm. Because those homes required all of both incomes, there was little time for communication which leads to marital separation and divorce and an endless number of children wondering 'if they were to blame' for why mom and dad no longer love each other. 

They grew up in this empty void, they filled their time with drugs, alcohol, or illicit sex. Because they didn't know that God wanted a personal relationship with them they gravitated to the darker side- things like Satan worship, cutting, sinister looking tattoos, and the Goth subculture just so they could fit in.

The latest shooter came from an economically successful family. Early on in his childhood, he went to a Christian church. As one former Facebook friend of his said, 'he was a likable guy early on and they had fun together, but in the past couple of years, his posts were becoming darker, unlike the friend she once knew.

My thought is we are paying a price when we deny the existence of God from our lives. Instead of worshipping God, we're worshipping money- the more we accumulate the happier we are. We forget those who retired on top with endless riches reaching the top uttering those words, "is this it?"

As a child in the 60's I have fond memories of going to Church and worshipping God or praying before bedtime. I have memories of attending Sunday school and learning that God loved me so much that he sacrificed his son, Jesus, on the cross for all of our sin's. I learned that all it takes to know God is to personally invite Jesus into our hearts. As we celebrate the holiday's we are reminded how much He wants to have a personal relationship with us through his son Jesus Christ. 

In each of the recent mass shooters, the common thread that connects these shooters are individuals who have forgotten God,  filled their God-shaped hole with a fascination with guns, a dark subculture, and many harmful addictions. If those of us who know Jesus personally will reach out to those who do not, I believe God will cause such a revival to occur that it would revolutionize the world we live in.


Only then, will this country experience true revival.

When you grieve the loss of a loved one, draw near to God for your source of comfort

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The holidays can be especially painful when those you use to be with during this time of celebration are no longer among you. 

We often remember the by-gone days when grandpa would cut the turkey or grandma took the freshly baked pie out of the oven and where the fresh aroma would fill the air and send loud hunger pangs reminding you that you need food. 

 It can be especially painful for anyone who has ever lost a child through unspeakable tragedy to escape those first holidays when the 'why' questions keep popping up in your mind.  The pain may be so great that you have to retreat to one of the bedrooms to take a nap to escape the pain. 

One of the lessons I would like to pass on when you are hit with those sad moments is to sit for a moment and make a list of everything you're thankful for, past and present, in your life.  I know from my experience that when we do this, we begin to focus on the blessings of God rather than the tragedies of our lives. 

 I would also encourage you to burn a candle (electric one if you're fearful of knocking it down and having the house burn down)  for each family member who isn't there this holiday season.What this does is remove the 'white elephant' from the room. You know, the one that everyone knows is there, but no one talks about it.  

Grief and sorrow tend to masquerade as the elephant in the room where, like eggshells, people gingerly walk around the subject of their loved one no longer there, but no one wants to talk about them for fear causing the floodgate of emotions seeping in.  

It is when we don't allow ourselves to talk about it that makes each of us feel worse. Finally, remember grief requires us to lean into all of the emotions of our loss. The old adage, "time heals all" isn't accurate because someone who refuses to work through the emotions can typically feel many years later the original pain of their loss- as though the loss just occurred when in fact it had been 10 years ago. 

 Our God has been a source of many blessings over the years, but we wouldn't know if when the lingering pain of our loss continues to fill our minds.  

I would encourage everyone dealing with losses ( men and woman) to consider committing yourselves to a 13-week griefshare group  www.griefshare.org to help you understand and recover from grief. 

 Finally, when we're dealing with loss try to commit to going to church.  The pain may still linger as you walk into the sanctuary and you may not feel like singing as those around you are, but the benefits of listening to God's word or receiving an encouraging word from a friend will help you heal from this pain.

 I want to wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!