We must go THROUGH the pain of our grief, not around it, or under it or over it if we intend to heal from it.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73:28&version=NIV

At last night's Grief share we covered the topic, 'the journey of grief, part 2  We learned about the importance of looking at pictures of our deceased loved ones to help us to process the emotional pain of our grief. 

While I recognize this is a painful process, it is an essential process to aid our healing process.  Let me explain. In our American way of life, we are tempted to bury our memories of the one who has died just to avoid any emotional consequences that come our way- who wants to be ambushed by our emotions when we're trying to do life?

Unless we take the time to express our emotions by looking at the pictures or watching any videos of happy times with our loved ones, the temptation will be to drown out our sorrows with alcohol and drugs, or illicit sexual relationships that can lead to more emotional and physical pain, or that medical diagnosis that comes with unresolved traumatic grief.

This is where our faith comes into play.  

Remember those songs you use to sing in Sunday school? ' Jesus loves me yes I know for the bible tells me so'? It is often not until we lose a loved one that we see the relevance of our faith- that this Jesus we often prayed to in sickness and in health is the same Jesus walking with us as we transverse this journey called grief. 

Think about this for a moment. God can be in all places at once. He is in Heaven with our loved ones and He is with us providing us with comfort and walking side by side with us, sometimes carrying us, through the rough terrain of our loss. Through the power of the holy spirit Jesus can dwell in our hearts to provide you with those encouraging words, those little miracle moments and that comfort you need to get you through the day.

This is why I encourage people to place one foot in front of the other and continue attending a Christian church where they may continue hearing the word of God even though they may not feel like going.  Feelings may ebb and flow, but God's word is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. God's word will never change even though our emotions do. 

As one lady said in the video when one of her kids asked why we have to keep  looking at pictures that make others sad- "I want to be able to continue looking at those pictures until one day I''m no longer sad and I can once again smile and laugh at those good times we had with our loved one."

If you are having a hard time processing the pain of your loved one, I encourage you to find a grief share group near you. Grief share is a 13-week group that will help you navigate through the pain, not around it.  https://www.griefshare.org

This day started off with blood draws, breakfast at Daily Dose, wig shopping, lunch out at Good EArth, to having a conversation with a friend about PTSD while waiting for my wife's car being serviced. God reminded me once the importance of sharing our faith stories with those around us.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Today, I saw many signs that God was making all things new again on our journey with cancer. The day began with driving her to the U of Mn Maple Grove clinic for a blood draw before going over to the Daily Dose for a breakfast muffin and a cup of coffee. The two of us had a wonderful conversation about life, our son, a brief remembrance of our daughter, and the upcoming surgery. Originally, this surgery was to take place on December 23rd, but now they found an earlier calendar date that works better. When she explained to the scheduling nurse about wanting an earlier date, the nurse originally said everything was booked until she re-opened the calendar and noticed this one singular earlier date. She called her back and with astonishment said, "I'm not sure how this happened but there is an earlier date."  My wife said to her, " maybe it is because I was praying?"

Through the years I've seen marriages fall apart when significant health issues surface with one or the other person Instead of committing to marriage counseling one or the other, or both, seek the services of a lawyer for the 'quick and easy divorce.'  Instead of bailing on their spouse and staying the course they would have seen God intervenes in ways they never thought possible.

I noticed my wife's hair was really coming back.  She mentioned to me she would like to get a 'transition' wig to wear in the meantime. So our day consisted of 'wig' shopping.  Our trek took us first to a store in Brooklyn Park before finally finding one at a store not far from the Rosedale Mall. After about an hour of trying on a variety of wigs, she found one that bought out her personality and her Pizzazz.  We were now hungry and decided to eat at the Good Earth nearby. It was there we had more conversations with each other.

On our drive home, I mentioned I would like to take her car in for an oil change. I dropped her off and made it to Main motors before the service department closed at 3:00.  As I walked over to the waiting room, I saw two people who recognize me right away and greeted me. Like a V8 moment, I realize that the gentleman was a City of Coon Rapids first responder who was on duty the night Maria died.  He remembers hearing the 9-1-1 call that night and had it not been that his shift was ending he would have been the one responding to that call. Jason and his wife had young children who attended Meadow Creek Christian school, the school our kids attended.

I shared with him the amazing things God has been doing in our lives from my son's marriage and having a new daughter-in-law to facilitating a grief share ministry and walking alongside others experiencing loss to my wife's cancer journey and the recent pronouncement of her cancer-free status.

I asked him how he was doing to which he said that his doctor said he could not return to his job because of PTSD.  As we talked about his journey I discovered from him the huge numbers of law enforcement, EMT's and firefighters who struggle with this diagnosis.  As he was sharing he said to me that "the people in my profession see things every day that no one ought to see."   I reminded him the night the City of Coon Rapids emergency response team came out to our house that I was struck how when the three of us were 'frozen' and in shock they were trained to take command of the situation. 

I reflected on a seminar I once heard on line about a hospital that began having 'grief rounds' to help their doctors process the trauma of seeing one of their patients die with the outcome being a 'healed' doctor who was now ready to tackle what lies ahead.

God honors us when we decide to keep our marriage vows in more ways we can count. Who would have thought that being in that Main Motors waiting area, God would allow me to encourage a former officer struggling with PTSD?  It also reminded me how important it is for us as believers to share our 'faith' stories with those around us- you simply do not know how God is going to use those stories for good in those we meet.

This has been a hard week for many with the hyperbole of our political scene, but remember that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

…27All things have been entrusted to Me by My Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him. 28Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:27-28

In the '70s when I was in high school, this was one of the songs that helped me to accept Jesus Christ aa my Savior and Lord of my life. I remember buying a Chuck Girard 8-track tape and listening to it through my headphones. The lyrics helped comfort me so I could drift off to sleep before the start of a brand new day. As you listen to the lyrics you realize this song continues to be relevant even for today. 

I remember seeing a friends picture consisting of trunks of all of his earthly possessions as he described his move overseas.  Our burdens can be described as the trunks in that picture.  How many of us would rather carry our burdens, our stresses, and our pain on our backs thinking we can solve our problems without turning to the one source for our comfort-God's son who He sacrifices his life for us all? 

This week has been another burden filled week of impeachment proceedings and wondering what's going to happen to us in the meantime.  In the 1970's when this song was first published there was another President facing impeachment proceedings who resigned; yet, we survived.  World and local events will come and go, but we must keep in mind that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%2013:8&version=NIV.
There was crime in the '70s just as there is crime today, but our Savior is the same. He is the living water who gives us life. "But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."  https://www.openbible.info/topics/living_water
When grief enters your soul and life become too much to bear, I encourage you to lay your burden down, open up the bible and read the Gospel of John about the promises God has for you. Then, consider inviting the Savior into your life.

Lay your burden down, lay your burden down

Take your troubled soul, your tired mind

And lay your burden down

Lay your burden down, get your feet on solid ground

Take your worries to the foot of the cross, and lay your burden down

Lay your burden down, lay your burden down

Take your weary life, your heavy load, and lay your burden down

Lay your burden down, get your feet on solid ground

Take your failures to the foot of the cross, and lay your burden down

(Lay your burden down)

You've been tryin' hard to make it all alone

Tryin' hard to make it on your own

And the strength you once were feelin', isn't there no more

And you think the wrong you've done, is just too much to be forgiven

But you know that isn't true

Just lay your burden down,...He has Forgiven you

Lay your burden down, lay your burden down

Take your burden to the cross, and lay it down

Lay your burden down, lay your burden down

Take your worries to the cross and lay them down