There is such a thing as broken heart syndrome following the loss of a loved one.

“Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, 21 to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure, Job 3

Lisa Marie Presley and Carrie Fisher both died from broken heart syndrome. Lisa Marie Presley's last instagram posting was about how she was destroyed by her son's suicide.' Carrie Fisher, daughter of Debbie Reynolds, also died from broken heart syndrome shortly after her mom's death.

In one interview of a middle age man who was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome he said that he thought he could keep his emotional pain under wraps until he was rushed to the hospital with a suspected heart attack. After tests were completed they concluded that his heart looked fine with the right ventricle of the heart taking a unusual shape- they concluded that the unusual stress of March 2020 created extreme stress.

One of the first things we tell newly bereaved people is to get yourself checked out by the doctor and to be sure to tell them that you just suffered a painful loss. It was at one appointment I had that the doctor shared with me about the loss of his brother when he was a child.

I wish this was the norm for people to share their pain with medical providers, but it isn't. So many of us would rather have the appearance that we're perfectly fine and able to cope with our problems. After all, we rationalized, I'm educated and able to cope with life's problems.

The problem with this thinking is it never works. People who do not open up about their losses often go down a dark pathway of abusing alcohol and drugs because it appears for the moment to be the only thing that controls their emotional pain. Unless this path is short circuited with a common sense intervention, or someone who is able to reach the person to convince them they have a problem, their lives may end in a untimely early death.

So what is the solution? Emotional pain from our losses needs to be processed and verbalized to others as often as it takes for healing to eventually to take place. I discovered this after the loss of my daughter, Maria, in June 2007. In the first year, my mind was filled with anger over what I preceived was someone else's fault. As the anger grew, I noticed my blood pressure and heart palpations increasing. I also noticed weight gain as I surrounded myself with unhealthy comfort food. Only when I was able to successfully move toward the forgiveness side of my emotions was I able to make the healthier choices for my life.

The other thing I did was I began seeing a Clinical Psychologist who was skilled with treating traumatic sudden losses who was able to get me to focus not so much on the person I lost, but on my loved ones who survived.

Finally, I started attending several sessions of Grief Share where I had a chance to share my pain with others without fear that I would be judged for not having enough faith.

So, broken heart syndrome does exist, but it can be fixed with openly sharing your pain with other trusted listeners.

Here are two resources I recommend to help you on your own unique grief journey. Griefshare.org Griefclubmn.org