Lessons learned from Harry's grief from his mom's sudden death.

The lack of emotion Prince Harry experienced after his mum's death is common for young boys.Harry was only 12 years old when he received the news that his mom, Pricess Diana died in a fiery crash in the tunnel. It was the news that no child should have to bare.He was only 12 when she died.He,of course, was in a state of shock when his father shared the news with him. He describes this shock that settled in over him in the days following the internationally broadcast funeral as emotional numbness with the inability to cry. Harry did say that he never shed a tear over his mom's death for several years.

We live in a culture where boys are expected to be tough and not cry. We often will tell them that boys don't cry, here have a cookie. We substitute food instead of encouraging boys are to cry. Harry suffered many years from the gut wrenching, mind numbing emotional pain that wouldn't end.

When he was 15, he resorted to drinking and doing drugs because his pain just wouldn't quit.

In my experience of listening to people's grief stories I discovered that each person has a choice to make after the sudden loss. The first would be face your emotions head on, one emotion at a time while using a journal or finding a trusted listener willing to listen to the your agony.

The other more destructive choice that is all too common is turning to hard liquor or drugs to deaden one's pain. The first choice leads to life and in time to a new normal; while the second choice only leads to complicated health problems that may lead the person to an early death.

We are fortunate to live in an era that includes many support groups to help those grieving losses. Back in our grandparents generation they didn't have these services which meant that alcohol and drugs were the go to method for coping. I tell people in our griefshare class that talking about your deceased loved one by remembering the stories you loved about that person is the best way of healing from your pain. So many of us are afraid to open up the door where our loved one slept. Sometimes a grieving person will go decades keeping that door closed.

It is only in facing one's emotions, one feeling at a time, that will help you recover from your pain. Visit those places you went to with your loved one even if it hurts because that very act will help you to create newer memories so that you have a reason for going back. Your loved one is gone, but you're still very much alive which means you still have a purpose for living. Go through the healing process and God will reveal to you what your purpose will be.