Just keep doing the next best thing

Two are better than one,because they have a good return for their labor:10 If either of them falls down,one can help the other up.But pity anyone who fallsand has no one to help them up.Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

When hearts are heavy following the loss of someone we love, after the last shovel full of dirt had been tossed on the casket when it seems, living begins to take monumental effort as though we're navigating on thick beach sand.

  It is following the funeral after all of our friends returned to their own life that life for the griever shifts into slow motion as the memories of the one who died linger on in the mind of the person missing them. 

Depending on the way that person died, they may have problems sleeping as they toss and turn trying desperately to get some shut eye before the morning's light peaks through the window blinds. It is during this time that household tasks go unfinished or long awaited projects get pushed out into the unknown future for lack of emotional and physical energy.

  As I look back on my own life, I remember the profound sadness my own mother felt following the loss of her own mother. She had a hard time functioning because I'm sure,  the lingering memories of her mom and not being able to sleep. In one sense,  our grief can be thought as the 'yellow canary' of our mind. By that, I mean when those profound emotions surface our task isn't to deny them, or bury them, or escape them through working too much, but it is our job to lean into each emotion like the waves of an ocean. 

The best advice I heard when those emotions surface that keeps you from doing those activities of daily living is simply to do  the ' next best thing.'   For some who might find themselves sleeping too much, this might be simply getting out of bed.  For others, it might be brushing your teeth. or vacuuming the floors.  When sorrow paralyzes you, just keep doing those small things that keep you living.  For those bigger tasks like paying bills or other household projects to tough to handle, ask your close friends to help you with those tasks. For example, ask a friend who is good with accounting to assist you with paying your bills.

 Grief is a journey that requires monumental effort to recover from and this isn't a time to play super hero so others may say "isn't he/she amazing? I'm not sure if I could be that way if I suffered a tragic loss like them." Be realistic and only handle those things you are able to in the months following your loss. 

In time, you will begin feeling better to tackle the things in life you effortlessly did before your loss. Until then, it is your task to embrace each emotion as your encounter them until emotions become less and the thunderous waves dissipate. 

As you look back on this journey you will begin to see that it was your Savior Jesus and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit that helped you recover from this loss.

This is your journey. Embrace it.  Then one day in the not too distant future, God will use you in the lives of others to help them navigate their own profound sadness. I encourage everyone experiencing the profound loss of a loved one to consider a Grief Share group. This link should help you find one. https://www.griefshare.org/

Just as in the days of Noah there are people more concerned about partying and drinking....

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.John 14:6

As I watched with horror Hurricane Irma barreling toward Florida, I'm reminded that there are numerous people who refuse to heed the warning of this very dangerous storm, until that is when it is too late to do anything about it.

At 11:00 pm, I noticed on the weather channel that Irma had regained her strength as it heads toward the Florida Keys and Miami.

I saw a warning that residents should not call 911 because there would be no one to rescue them once the storm began. The county wasn't about to put their emergency response people in danger because people refused to evacuate. Despite the dangers, there were still 100's of people willing to ride out this storm from their boats and homes.

One reporter described Miami as the party capital of the world as he scanned the beach of the young people partying as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening at the time. One young woman waiting for the gas trucks to arrive was asked if she had ever been in a hurricane. This after she acknowledged that they hadn't decided they would leave until they heard the latest weather report. Her response when prompted further was no. The reporter then added that he 'wished them good luck'. Once he turned to look at the camera, he added, ' most people die from drowning, not the wind.'

In another scene the camera began pointing to rows of boats on the bay. You could see that the winds were beginning to pick up. The reporter was invited into one man's boat when he was asked about being scared of Irma. The man said he had been in many other hurricanes and survived and defiantly said, " this may be a really bad storm and I may feel the waves, but this boat will stay put."

I was reminded of another scene of defiant people who were mocking Noah when he was building the ark probably thinking how crazy Noah was for building this large boat on land that wasn't near water. But when the skies opened up and the winds blew many of these naysayers came back pounding on the sides of the ark hoping Noah would let them in. But, like the warnings of the hurricane officials it was too late. The knocks on the Ark's door continued until they drowned. i

Then I saw the gap of those who believe-the youngest and oldest people.According to a ABC News poll, 60 % of people age 65 and older report attending religious services at least once a week; while those 18 to 30 just 28 percent go that often.

There is also a strong gender effect, with women of all ages more likely than men to attend a weekly church service.

Another interesting thing occurred during this hurricane: men were flocking out to the liquor stores and buying liquor to host hurricane parties. One group  interviewed had just finished boarding up their house and offered these words to the reporter, " now it's time to kick back and party because if anything happens to our house we're sure we won't feel anything."

If those young men would spend some time cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ, they would see that Jesus  is alive and desires to partner with them through the storms of this life. Yet, booze and addiction clouds their thinking
I
n Proverbs 14: 12 are these words, 

'There is a way which seems right to a man,But its end is the way of death.'

Since the days of Noah, God has sent his messengers and when that fails he sends us the storms of nature to grab our attention that He wants to be apart of our lives and to  experience God's amazing grace in the face of suffering.

Through this simple act of submission God will take our pain and give us a new desire to live in this life.

Jesus Christ reminds us through those words found in John 14:6, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

There will be other storms after Irma and other earthquakes but it will not be the end because God wants to give everyone the opportunity to receive his Son.

Won't you give your heart to Jesus today? You won't be disappointed you did.

Jesus gave us the means to overcome our fear.........

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10

As the wonderful Star Wars character, Yoda says, fear leads to anger, and anger leads to hate.If we find ourselves hating, we can ask ourselves, “What is it that I am angry about?”Then, we can take it a crucial step further: “What am I afraid of?”

One news item caught my eye the other day. It was an article about an African American man who consciously decided to cross the racial divide and became friends with a person involved in the KKK. This man got to know this individual until one day the fellow involved in the KKK left this organization for good.

What we don't know, we fear. What we fear we hate.

Several years ago there was an organization started by the University of Colorado football coach, Bill McCartney called 'Promise Keeper's'. The vision was given to Mr. McCartney to reconcile families and break down the racial divide that existed in our country. I attended many of those Promise Keeper's conferences and so did a lot of other guys in that era. Despite the good things that were coming from this movement, the feminists, and the left news media successfully brow beat this organization by making claims that Promise keepers were trying to keep women barefoot and pregnant and finding as much 'dirt' on the founders of Promise Keepers as they could. Despite the negative press at the time, Promise Keeper's was by far was one of the greatest movements created by God to reach men. In one blog post by Jason Cruise was this his observation:

If you’ve ever attended a PK event, then you know that PK engaged men through the use of powerful media that spoke the language of testosterone. From the promotional material, to what you saw in the events themselves, Promise Keepers came at men in the best and most effective way they could: through a man’s eyes.

If you want to get to the heart of a woman, go through her emotions. If you want to motivate the heart of a man, you go through his eyes. When a man can see it, he can believe it. PK tapped into this like a boss.

Promise Keepers was breaking down the racial divide. Men were learning about each other and realizing that regardless of race or cultural background we were the same with the desire to be successful, have stronger relationships with our wives and crossing the racial divide that has separated our country.

 Promise Keepers taught men that God's church needs them if the church was to be relevant in today's cultural climate.

Yet, before many of the Promise Keepers events, the news media would give the feminists airtime about how horrible this organization was in the treatment of woman. There was such dissension at the Monday morning water cooler that men shamed into submission regarding their event attendance.

Despite these accusations, Promise keepers have left its mark on men and the church. I remember attending the large scale Promise Keepers event at the Washington DC national mall( where once again the news media attempted to down play the magnitude of this event), returning home and immediately starting a racial divide bible study with a cross of guys who were African American and Caucasian and rather than expect our black friends to travel out of their comfort zone we met on their turf.

What we don't know, we fear. What we fear we hate.

All of us who were involved in that study, I suspect, benefitted from it. While I have lost contact with many of them, I suspect their lives were forever changed not just from the Promise Keepers movement, but also taking the chance and meeting others from another culture. 

This black individual who became friends with a White supremacists certainly heard the call of God and God used that in the life of the white supremacist.

The greatest catalyst in overcoming the hate in this country is stepping out of our comfort zone and asking questions and listening to other people share their story. If all of us did this, there would no longer be any room for hate.