First Man is a story of a grief stricken astronaut trying to recover while being the first man to walk on the moon.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 31:10

1961, NASA test pilot Neil Armstrong is flying the X-15 rocket plane when it inadvertently bounces off the atmosphere. Although he manages to land the plane in the Mojave Desert, his colleagues express concern that his recent record of mishaps is due to distraction and he is grounded.


His two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Karen, is undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. Desperate to save her, Armstrong keeps a detailed log of her symptoms and feverishly tries to find possible treatments, but she dies soon afterward in the year 1961.There was one scene where we saw Niel Armstrong weep for his daughter, but when he was done he put her bracelet away and focused on the task at hand.


Still, grief-stricken Neil Armstrong applies for the Gemini space program. He and his wife Janet and their young son move to Houston to be near the rest of the Astronaut families.


The movie shows the distant relationship with his wife. . I speculate that she wanted Niel to grieve with her for the loss of their daughter. Niel chose to grieve alone and have other children to replace the one he lost.His pain stayed with him through much of his space career. Not until he reached the surface of the moon in 1968 did he release the pain of losing his child by throwing her wrist bracelet into a deep crater.


In one scene following the Apollo space capsule fire that burned alive Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chaffee, Karen Armstrong sees the grieving widow of Gus Grissom and walks over to comfort her as she stood looking at the empty trunk of her car. You had this sense she understood the pain she was experiencing and knew instantly she needed someone to acknowledge her pain.


I learned that unless we process the pain of our grief, our grief waits, and waits, and waits. Which is why it is so important to find 'trusted' listeners who are willing to sit down with you in the muck and mire of your grief- and listen until you have told your story enough times where the story no longer elicits strong emotional reactions.


Today, we have more grief support programs to help people experiencing this pain. One such program I've had the privilege to facilitate is Grief Share. This is a 13-week program that helps people go through the pain, not around it. The beautiful part of this program is that there are groups located everywhere and by simply typing in your zip code at the https://www.griefshare.org you will find a group near you.


While you may struggle with the 'why's' of your loss you can survive and recover from that pain. As a Christian believer, I know that if you cry out to God that He will come alongside you to walk with you through this pain.


Our God truly is an amazing God.

Paying tribute to the 11 victims of the Tree of LIfe Synagoge massacre. They did what they normally did each week to attend and honor God. My heart hurts for you

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

My heart is aching for the 11 people who were gunned down because they chose to honor God at their local Synagogue- something that most of us do on a weekly basis. These 11people- and the death toll could have been higher- were it not for the quick action of law enforcement. I want to pay tribute to these individuals in this blog.

1.Cecil and David Rosenthal: The brothers from Squirrel Hill sat in the back of the temple and greeted people as they came in to worship, said Suzan Hauptman, who grew up in the synagogue.

2.Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz:a primary care physician in Edgewood Borough, who touched the lives of many patients with HIV. One patient said Rabinowitz was known as "the one to go to" because of how he treated everyone with respect and dignity.

3.Irving Younger: greeted Tree of Life members and visitors with a big smile and a handshake, a friend said."He was a guy that, when you walked in, he was the first person that would meet you and help you find a seat," his pal and former Tree of Life president Barton Schachter told CNN."He liked to make sure you knew where you were in the prayer book. It was his duty. He felt responsible. He felt like his role was to help serve."

4.Melvin Wax: passions were his grandson, his religion and the Pittsburgh Pirates. He was "always in a good mood, always full of jokes," his sister told CNN The 88-year-old accountant was usually among the first to arrive at Friday night and Saturday morning services, Bonnie Wax said. He was well-versed in reciting Jewish prayer."The synagogue for him was very important. We always used to kid with him that you should have been a rabbi," she said.

5.Rose Mallinger: Friends and relatives say the 97-year-old Squirrel Hill woman lived for her family. She regularly attended Tree of Life with her daughter, Andrea, who was injured in the shooting. And despite her age, Mallinger was spry, vibrant and full of life."To Bubbe, the family was everything. She knew her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchild better than they knew themselves. She retained her sharp wit, humor, and intelligence until the very last day," her family said in a statement.

6: Bernice and Sylvan Simon: The Simons died together in the same synagogue where they wed more than 60 years ago.
According to their 1956 wedding announcement in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the couple married at Tree of Life synagogue. The bride carried a Bible with white orchids and streamers of stephanotis and wore a gown of ivory Chantilly lace and tulle trimmed with sequins. They were the kind of people who regularly stepped up to help in their small neighborhood and in the Jewish community.
"They wanted to give back to people and be kind," Stepaniak said. "They were loving and giving and kind."

7. Jerry Rabinowitz: touched the lives of many, both as a primary care physician in Edgewood Borough and a member of Dor Hadash -- one of three congregations scheduled to celebrate Sabbath at Tree of Life on Saturday.
In the early days of HIV treatment, when stigma around the disease was high, Rabinowitz was known to hold patients' hands without gloves and embrace them whenever they left the office, one patient recalled."Before there was an effective treatment for fighting HIV itself, he was known in the community for keeping us alive the longest," Kerr said. "Thank you Dr. Rabinowitiz for having always been there during the most terrifying and frightening time of my life."Rabinowitz was known for wearing bow ties that made people smile and put his patients at ease, his nephew, Avishai Ostrin said on Facebook. Ostrin said his uncle was not in the basement where the congregation was gathered, but outside the room. "Why? Because when he heard shots he ran outside to try and see if anyone was hurt and needed a doctor. That was Uncle Jerry, that's just what he did."
Ostrin said if there was a message his uncle would want everyone to take from the tragedy, "it would be a message of love, unity, and of the strength and resilience of the Jewish people."

8.Joyce Fienberg: 75, had a long career at the University of Pittsburgh as a research specialist from 1983 until her retirement in 2008. Her employers at the Learning Research and Development Center called her a "cherished friend" and "an engaging, elegant, and warm person.
She was just as beloved by Ph.D. students of her husband, Stephen, an acclaimed statistician who taught at Carnegie Mellon University for 36 years. He passed away two years ago after battling cancer.
The couple opened their home to Stephen's students and treated them like family, former student Jason Connor said. Joyce would send cards to her husband's students long after they left Carnegie Mellon, Connor said.

9. Richard Gottfried:Richard Gottfried was Jewish, and his wife, Peg Durachko, was Catholic. Together, they opened a dental practice in 1984 and helped prepare other interfaith couples for marriage through the St. Athanasius church. In 1996, the couple joined the Discovery Study Club, a local group that's part of an international organization of dentists and specialists who offer educational lectures and workshops in dentistry, according to the practice's website.

10.Daniel Stein:The 71-year-old retiree lived in Squirrel Hill with his wife, nephew Steven Halle told CNN affiliate WPXI. Halle said he and his family were shocked by his uncle's sudden death at the synagogue, where Stein went every Saturday.
"He was a great guy," Halle said. "He was a fun guy, he had a dry sense of humor and everybody loved him."

11. Brothers Cecil and David Rosenthal:The brothers were inseparable, said Chris Schopf of ACHIEVA, a Pittsburgh nonprofit that provides support for people with disabilities. The organization worked with the brothers. In a statement, they described them as extraordinary men who were respected members of ACHIEVA's community.
"Cecil's laugh was infectious. David was so kind and had such a gentle spirit. Together, they looked out for one another," said Schopf, a vice president for residential support. "Most of all, they were kind, good people with a strong faith and respect for everyone around."
According to their obituaries posted by the Ralph Schugar Chapel, Cecil was a devoted Tree of Life congregant. David worked for Goodwill Industries and was described as a hard worker who was frequently recognized for his dedication.
Laura Berman, the cantor of Temple Sinai, said Cecil was a "beautiful man" and a "sweet, gentle soul."
"The kindest soul you would ever meet," she said. "A smiling face. He was one of those embodiments of the community. Just open, warm, smiling, wanting to help and just in his beautiful simplicity. That's who he was."


The names I just entered all had family connections. Like a spider web, lives are being touched in every direction, and with that grief are being felt by those who knew them. It wasn't just the 11 people we lost today, but it was all of the people they touched in their communities.


To the Tree of Life Synagogue, we are grieving with you as you pay your final respects to these precious souls.  I think it would honor them if every one of us were to make a positive contribution to society.

 Let all of us learn to walk in another person's shoes. If we do that we just might understand a little more about humanity.

Amazing when you think about it how God can be in all places at one time!

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

At our Grief Share group last night we had a discussion over the incredible interplay of God's holy spirit in each of our lives- God the Father, God the son, God the holy spirit. What was amazing about this point was how God can be in all places at one time! He is there in heaven where our loved ones are celebrating and He is present in our lives as we struggle through our grief journey- as we miss our loved ones who formerly made us smile and brought their own uniqueness into our lives.


Hebrews 1:3 reminds us with these words about Jesus Christ- "And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,".

Then Jesus reminded in us shortly before he was taken by the Roman guards to be judged, sentenced and crucified in the gospel of John 16:5, "Now, however, I am going to Him who sent Me; yet none of you asks Me, ‘Where are You going?’ 6Instead, your hearts are filled with sorrow because I have told you these things. 7But I tell you the truth, it is for your benefit that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you."


The advocate is God's holy spirit that is freely given to us when we receive Jesus Christ into our lives. We are again reminded of the importance of staying connected with God with these words from John 15, "I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing."


The natural inclination for many of us after a loved one dies is to withdraw from God and blame him for the incredible pain in our lives, but this very act alone will cause us to continue to needlessly suffer while using destructive coping methods like alcohol and or drugs to desperately 'erase our pain' without seeing the long-term effects those things will have on our bodies. We are reminded through Exodus 15:26 that God is our healer, "I am the Lord, who heals you." As we run to God with all of our pain, all of our messiness and all of our anger God will help us walk through the journey, not around it like all of those other destructive methods will do.


God's gift of the holy spirit and his reminder that Jesus Christ is the exact representation of his being brings God to a personal level in our lives! I have this image of God through Jesus walking right beside us while carrying on this conversation and reminding us from his words from holy scripture like Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake you." Jesus, my friends, is there with you for the long haul as you continue to struggle with the daily emotions of grief.

Our God is truly an amazing God!