A simple trip home down highway 169

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14


Our family has taken the same trip home from church for over 20 years.  This was a beautiful Sunday afternoon with sun shining and warm temps. Suddenly, I saw brake lights in the cars ahead of us. I cautioned my wife to slow down in case she was slow to react to the scene I was seeing.

Then the cars came to a dead stop.  No it wasn't the power grid that went silent and all the computerized cars stopped operating. I glanced at the scene of the mayhem.  It looked like truck tires sticking up in the air.  My mind continued to analyzed the situation and noticed that it was a white suv with all of it's windows blown out lying on it's roof.  We were 3 cars behind the mayhem. I told my wife to call 9-1-1.  I presumed in this digital age that everyone else who had cell phones did so too.

My son and I got out and started walking toward the accident scene along with many other strangers that were on this  highway this Sunday afternoon. When I reach  the door there were two other ladies that were there first who helped maintain her calm until emergency help arrived. 

 Not sure if she climbed out of her upside down vehicle, but she was standing being held by these ladies. The lady that climbed out asked "what happened". The two ladies tried to  maintain her calm with appropriate responses. Then she said she felt her heart beating fast and she felt pain in her neck and shoulder's.  She was in a state of disorientation and shock. She didn't want to leave her vehical. Everyone of us in this same situation would be overcome with shock not wanting to believe that something traumatic happened to us.

Her SUV's contents were spewed out across the highway. Many library books, sheet music, 100's of recyclable metal can tops, DVD's and Minnesota Christian Chronicles  were blown across the highway like a disaster scene was unfolding. Many, many strangers were picking up these items and setting them back into the broken window of the overturned SUV.

One stranger decided to help direct some of the traffic around the accident.

This lady was fortunate.  There could have easily have been inattentive drivers behind her crashing into her vehicle, or even a chain collision.  The truck could have caught fire.

Then I heard the familiar sounds of help arriving.  First, there was the ambulance and then the police.  When I heard those sounds I couldn't have been happier.

The scene that we experienced reminds us how fragile life really is and how easily our life could be snuffed out in a tiny hair of a split second.   If this accident had occurred in the middle of December when the roads are slick I think the outcome would have been much different. 

No matter what happens in your life you can rest knowing that Christ is there to rescue you and bring you home to heaven.

Grief is harder the 2nd year after the loss of a child

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”’

Matthew 11:28

I was in the check out line recently to pay for my groceries when I noticed a headline in one of the tabloids, Maria Osmond is checking  into a mental hospital for electric-shock treatments. Keep in mine that I don't always believe everything I read in the tabloids just like I don't believe everything on the internet.. As I opened to the article I scanned it until I got  close to the end where it describes the stress's in her life.

Her son took his life in 2010, just 2 years ago

.I remembered when we finished our first year after the loss of our daughter and I made a  remark to my wife that we're almost to the end of the "season of grief"  In my mind I would assume that things would be back to normal after finishing that one year, after all, once you experience every holiday for the first time without your loved one things will return to normal?  Or will they?

The one year rule for grief is a total myth.  That is assuming that grief is like a quick sprint which it is not.  Grief is more like running a 26 mile marathon through the Arizona desert during the hottest time of the year where every step you take is painfully slow.

Having been down that road of grief I could understand the pain which Maria Osmond was experiencing. If my grief journey is any indication the quiet times at night were the hardest when you are trying to sleep.  It is in the darkness and solitude that one  replaysf all of the mistakes you made along the way of parenting your child. 

 As a mom Maria Osmond sent her son off to college where she would have the opportunity to see her son become the man she raised her son to be, but what she got was a totally different matter.  Going from happiness and joy of seeing her son transition into another stage of life to utter despair of trying to make sense of her son's death now became unbearable for her to handle.

Maria Osmond did the right thing.  Realizing she could not process her grief alone she put her self in a protective environment of a hospital where she could receive the professional care she needed to process the trauma and grief.  It is not shameful to have to admit you need professional help to deal with the pain of loss.

Are you ready to run along side your friend who has experience a traumatic loss?  Are you ready to run a marathon and not just a sprint with that person?  

As we attend our worship services this morning remember we have a God who truly recognizes our pain and He wants us to call on his name whenever we have a burden.

Laughter is medicine for the soul

3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance

I must admit that when I was grieving it was very hard to crack a smile, or even respond with laughter to something that was funny.  I read that it takes more muscles to make a frown than it takes to make a smile. No wonder a person who grieves is exhausted at the end of the day.  They may not have a very productive day work wise, but they are dog gone tired none the less.

There were two friends that are real good about assuring that a person's funny bone is tickled and these two friends had me laughing  each time we got together for breakfast after Maria died. Joe Lovitt and Ken Kalamaha are two very good friends of mine  who were there to help turn my weeping into laughter.

 Ken and I became friends through the Crystal Single Adults group at Crystal free church.  He and I had fun coming up with creative ways to date our girl friends. When the four of us got together Ken had me literally  laughing so hard that I would be on the floor.  Our most memorable 4 some was when Ken and I decided to surprise our girl friends by taking them to the Minnesota State Fair  IN STYLE. That is right.  We rented a limo to pick our girl friends up and the 4 of us sat in this STRETCH limo and enjoyed the scenery UNTIL we got to the SNELLING AVENUE TRAFFIC!  We had so much budgeted and when we noticed the traffic we decided to get out 2 blocks away from our arrival and walk the rest of the way.  To this day I get the giggles when I think of this memorable date.  Remembering this date is a reminder how important it is for us guys to always think ahead and come up with and refreshing ideas to court our spouses, especially when we are in the season of life of grieving.

Joe Lovitt is another good friend we originally met in our Homebuilder's Sunday school class at church.Joe and his wife Jenny have written and directed numerous drama's that have impacted the people who watch them. I remember my wife and I attending one of Joe's stand up comedy routines and thinking to ourselves what a joy it was to actually be laughing instead of mourning.I guess the thing that really gets me in the mood to laugh is to remind myself that our loved ones are right now exercising their funny bones!  Heaven is going to be a rip roaring good time like the words from Owl City's 'always a good time'.

 Ken and Joe are two guys that had me laughing so hard that my ribs cage would hurt. The only time I would not recommend  laughing this hard would be after you had open heart surgery and your chest was being held together with staples.  Ouch. Come to think of it these two guys should come with a warning label: Warning, laugh at your own risk. Avoid laughing after surgery.

Everyone who travels the grief road needs to have at least a couple of friends who are good at bringing the lighter side out of you every now and then just as Proverbs reminds us.  Yes, comedians are a gift from God. Laughter is good for the soul!  Actually that is my paraphrase version!