If all dad's were like Dick Hoyt who pushed his son to the Boston marathon finish line despite his Cerebral Palsy

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8

I heard it this morning that Dick Hoyt, extraordinary father to Richard, died in his sleep at the age of 80.  

If you followed the Boston Marathon for any length of time you would know that Dick would push his severely disabled adult son to the finish line at the marathons he ran in.  This is a powerful image of a father's love for his child and a reminder that as parents we hold the key to our children's success  in life.

 I believe this is one of the take-away lessons learned in this great pandemic- that there is more to this life than making money, building castles and accumulating boat loads of impressive sounding titles.   I know this is true when I open up Facebook and see parents posting pictures of happy children enjoying fun activities with mom and dad. 

This pandemic has become the great awakening that teaches us the importance of spending time with our children. Life spent with our children is short and before you know it they reach their high school graduation when they pack their suitcase and head off to Freshmen orientation day for four years of study leading to their chosen professional career. 

In a blink of an eye, our kids go from riding trikes to driving cars.  As parents, we must never forget this reality.  

What Dick Hoyt did is symbolic of what our God did for us when he sent his son, Jesus, to show us the way to eternal salvation.  As a human, Dick showed unconditional love toward his son so that his son could experience the joy of victory at the finish line.

Just as Dick Hoyt was there for his son, Jesus Christ wants to be there for you when you finish the race and take your first breath in heaven.

Won't you say yes to Jesus and in your own words invite Him into your life? You will be glad you did.

 

This week has been filled with so much tragedy and trauma with the shootings in Indiana, Chicago and in our own city of Minneapolis we await the outcome of the Jury decision in the case heard around the world.

16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8

 There are some days I wake up wishing once and for all to see none of the violence, murders, mass shootings that has become a regular routine in days gone by.  My heart hurts for Shaunte Wright's mom who now must bury her son when she had hoped to have him around well into her old age.  I was disturbed by the video images of a police officer shooting a 13 year old boy in the chest because he had a hand gun and he was running away from the officer. One account said the boy looked much older than his stated age.  Regardless, what I do know is that a family now must bury their 13 year-old son when they fully anticipated having him around much longer than they did.  I'm sure his parents are thinking my son should have buried us when we died, not the other way around.  George Floyd was a man and like all men we occasionally make mistakes. It was May 30th, 2018 that Larcenia, his mom, died and by all accounts George grieved heavily for the loss of his mom. He missed her terribly because she was the one that reminded George that he was loved. 

We simply do not in America and other civilized countries do a very good job addressing our grief. The average person is likely to find ways to bury their grief deep down under with hopes that the pain will never surface again.  We just assume forget than taking the road less traveled, facing our grief one emotion at a time, unraveling and sharing with trusted listeners until one day we can smile again.

Instead, most people will venture down a path of drug and alcohol use, or other addictive behaviors because we false assume they will help us numb our pain.  The reality of this fallacy is that as those addictive behaviors grow it eventually takes it toll on the body until death wins out. We forget that just because we die from a sudden catastrophic event doesn't mean that our surviving loved ones who witnessed our demise won't suffer from the lasting pain.  

As a dad who experienced such a loss, I can tell you that the greatest thing you can do to help your family isn't to gravitate toward the alcohol or drugs, or to stop attending Church, but the greatest thing that could be your lasting legacy as a father is to go with your family to weekly Church service.  No, Church may not be the same after the loss of a loved one, but I do know that being present allows others in the body of Christ to shower you with the love and support your family needs to get through the approaching years.

I often remind myself that God lost His son, but he gave his son to provide a way of eternal salvation for all world view faiths. God knows what it is like to be in deep, deep pain and He is ready to walk by your side as long as it takes to recover from this loss.

If you are experiencing the loss of someone special in your life and  nothing seems to help you, I encourage you to look into a 13-week grief share group which is a group that will teach you to walk through the pain, not around it.  https://griefshare.org

Sudden deaths are some of the most difficult deaths to process. In this scene from 'This is us' we see Jack Pearson's wife talking with the doctor about her husband's death. It seemed incomprehensible that he would die when Jack merely ran in to rescue her daughter's cat from the house fire.

My eye has wasted away with grief;
It has become old because of all my adversaries. Psalm 6:7

This has been a difficult day in Minneapolis and certainly for the city of Brooklyn Center. Last night, there was an officer-involved shooting of a 20-year male who was pulled over for what should have been a routine traffic stop.  When it was all done we discovered that this young man died when the Brooklyn Center police officer thought she was using her taser instead of her gun.  One bullet was all it took to take the life of this young man. 

Sudden deaths of young people are often some of the most difficult deaths to process by most people. When such a death occurs, most people are left stunned, bewildered, and in shock that something like this could have happened to their loved one.  

In this scene in This is us Jack Pearson is laying in the next room deceased when the smoke he inhaled caused his heart to go into cardiac arrest. From his wife's impression, he should never have died because he was brought to the hospital with burns when he ran into the families burning house to rescue his daughter's cat.

In most family's timelines, we notice how different their lives were before the loss of their loved one and how different their lives were after the loss.  Each member will grieve differently. Wives will grieve differently from their husbands while siblings grieve differently from each other. 

George Floyd's brother got up on the stand and shared how his brother ache for a long time when he learned of the news of his mom's death.   In all of us, our moms hold a special place in our lives. They are often the glue that keeps families together.   It makes sense that when we lose a loved one all of us come to a crossroads in life. We can choose between two options of grief recovery: (1) we can work through our pain by processing all of the emotions that we feel from our loss while finding trusted listeners to confide to regarding this pain, or  (2) we can venture down the road of excessive drinking and opioid abuse because deep down we see it as helping us bury our pain.   

I'm not a huge believer in option 2 because I have seen many people who choose option 1 successfully recover from their loss, and while those who choose 2 pursue a path of anger, drug and alcohol addiction, and early death.

You may not feel normal like you did before your loss, but I believe if you're willing to process all of the emotions of your loss you will eventually develop a new normal that will one day be used by God to help others recover from a loss. 

If you are hurting and the pain seems to be too much for you, I encourage you to invest in a 13-week grief share group where you will learn how to go through the pain of your loss, not around it.  https://griefshare.org

 

It isn't uncommon for prolonged grief to raise up feelings of unhappiness when it seems everyone around you are happy

 

He is risen

HE IS RISEN!

HE IS RISEN, INDEED!

Though there are people in this world who are unhappy and fear based this is no reason to allow this to effect your own happiness on this beautiful Resurrection Sunday!  

As our Pastor illustrated this morning, it is as though sad and despondent people are staring at a closed tomb, instead of one where the stone was rolled away revealing a risen Savior giving people hope and joy and a occasion to celebrate.

Their mind is focused on the closed tomb, 

They cannot see the stone that had been rolled away, or the victory of finally defeating death with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Instead of focusing on the joy of eternal salvation and the gift of His holy spirit, some are choosing to remain in this state of Chronic despair.   

Here is the good news.  

One does not have to live the rest of their life sad because of someone they loved died.   You can choose to move forward with your pain while trusting God to help you heal.  But, you have to be willing to process each emotion of your loss as they bubble to the surface. Men, especially must reframe from indulging in addictive behaviors just to numb their pain- failure to do so will lead to chronic and debilitating and life shortening events.

 Grief share teaches people how to go through their emotional pain of loss, not around it as so many hard working people tend to do.  On a personal level I have seen people live the rest of their lives with unresolved forgiveness and grief while taking their emotional pain with them to their graves.

 But, you do not have to go to that dark spot if you don't want to. You can choose to do what it takes to work through this pain by meeting with a trusted listener and journaling one's grief. As each layer of your grief is uncovered, you will experience true healing when you see not a closed tomb, but one where the stone had been rolled away revealing hope of a resurrected savior and a reason for you to experience true joy with a desire to look forward to important holiday celebrations.

For those who identify with the points I'm illustrating, I encourage you to get involved in a 13-week Grief share group through this link: https://griefshare.org

You will be glad you did.