The other night at Legacy Christian Academy our family had the opportunity to be a blessing to 2 of Maria's classmates with scholarships in her honor and re-establishing those past relationships

16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:16

If I could summarize this journey with just 1 word it would be 'amazing'. To think my God brought me through the incredible pain of my grief from shock to anger to depression back to anger back to depression to acceptance to forgiveness and creating new memories is something to behold. Yet, just as the verse above illustrates God is in the business of making all things new!

Friday nights commencement was a perfect example of that as we sat watching Maria's fellow classmates being awarded their diploma's. Our daughter wasn't there that evening because of her sudden loss in 2007, but her classmates and their families were. Until the Lord impressed upon me to honor Maria in this way my wife and son had no plans on going back for this commencement. It would be too painful. The scholarships I set up in Maria's name gave our family the opportunity to go back and re-establish some of those past relationships. When my wife called the school to see if she could get a copy of the open houses for some of Maria's classmates she was told that one of Maria's friends help create a full page add in the Legacy yearbook featuring her. She was so overwhelmed by this 'positive' news that she called me at work to share it with me.

The awful thing about grief are the places, people, and things we avoid because they bring up painful reminders of the one we love. Those, my friends, are the secondary losses of the grief.

The act of setting up the scholarships in Maria's memory helped us to be there that evening and hear Maria's 3rd grade teacher share a couple of heart warming stories about our little girl that touched so many lives before asking Maria's parents to come up to the front to join her. We were touched by the applause that rang out and for the yearbook we received. The act of setting up and honoring 2 students was an opportunity of having our son join us at the school that previously was a reminder of his own journey and gave him the opportunity to get re-acquainted with several of his classmate.

If there is a life lesson in this blog it is that God doesn't want us to avoid people, places or things when losses occur. He wants you to embrace your pain by leaning on to God's promises such as the one from Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

We got the list for our daughter's friends open houses and we look forward to attending those open houses and getting to know the families of these girls again and celebrating their next stage of life. The story of Maria's 50 yard dash. as told by her 3rd grade teacher that evening, illustrates in another way our love for these families:

I had the privilege of being Maria’s 3^rd grade teacher. Since I have 2 artificial hips and sometimes walk a little more slowly, Maria and I played a “game” to see who could get different places during the day the fastest.  Maria would giggle and say, “I’m gonna beat you!”  Of course most of the time Maria beat me by a step or two, but once in a while I beat her.  When the Spring of the year rolled around, her classmates encouraged Maria to run the 50 yard dash at the annual Track and Field day.  They were aware of our “I can beat you” game and believed Maria could accomplish this task.  She did. She entered the race with several other girls.  All those students who were not running stood near the finish line, something that did not happen very often as students often go off with parents to watch their siblings.  The girls all put their hearts into running the race, including Maria.  As the girls crossed the finished line, an amazing thing happened.  They turned around and joined Maria!  As Maria crossed the finished line, with the other girls  a step or two behind her and all her classmates  and their parents cheering and applauding.  She threw up her arms in victory and smiled and laughed, “I did it, I did it”.  Maria has run the race AND  kept her faith. This time, you truly did “beat” me to the finish line.  

Connecting with past friendships is very much apart of the healing process. This is truly what God desires for our lives.

I had a dream, a dream of reconciliation

13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. Ephesians 6:13-18

This evening I had a dream of reconciliation of a long broken relationship that was restored.

 In a  perfect biblical world view these kind of dreams would become common place where men, woman and children would be restored. Unfortunately,  we live in a broken world where the predominating emotions of anger, rage, revenge rule. We live in a  world where anger drives the hearts of men, woman and children to the predators of the dark, sinister world of Islamic state of Iraq (Isis) who have become master's at using the social media to lure them into their traps.. Angry men from broken pasts surfing the internet until one day they find very convincing stories of false hope from  Isis, master's at using the social media to lure them.. Disenchanted young woman with a desire to be loved gravitate to these same websites who offer them false hope of romance of being a ISIS bride.

 In a perfect biblical worldview Abraham would have trusted God fully instead of succumbing to his wife's offer of going into her maidservant.  In a perfect biblical worldview Abraham would have fully trusted God. 

Yet, God had even grander plans for his perfect redemption story.as the pages of the biblical worldview would later reveal. His story would involved taking back the hearts and minds of those who are angry, bitter and vengeful.  His story would include working on the hearts of his people, one person at a time using the very people who's lives have been changed through the same redemptive story.

 The media would like us to believe there is no hope in this broken and fallen world. Yet, my eyes have seen a lifetime of men, woman and children being restored  through the stories of other formerly broken people brought back to Christ.

 One heart at a time.
 One mind at a time. 
One soul at a time.

 I find comfort as I hear reports of former Muslim's having dreams of Jesus  and abruptly deciding to follow him. I find comfort when I hear reports that record numbers of Muslims are coming to Christ.

 It is a reminder that the war on terror is more than just a physical war involving tanks, guns and bombs. It is Spiritual war that no one can see, but it is as real as the one we read or hear about in the media. 

 Maybe my dream of reconciliation isn't so far fetch in a world that is broken.  God truly wants everyone to find love, hope, peace and acceptance through his son Jesus Christ.

 As you go about your business today say a prayer for the Muslim neighbor, co-worker, or when you drive by a Mosque ask for God's redemptive story to take place in the hearts of the men who go there asking God to reveal Jesus to them.. You may not see it in your lifetime, but God just may use those prayers to bring them to Christ.

Forgiveness is akin to opening up the curtains letting in the crisp ocean breezes.

13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. Colossians 3:13

As a kid growing up in St.Louis Park, Minnesota I remember one of my favorite shows was 'Get Smart'.  I especially enjoyed the opening credits where Mr. Smart  walks through a set of passage way doors inside an ordinary building. As he walks through one doorway he finds another doorway as the door behind him would close with a thud.  This scene would repeat itself until the final one where he walks into the familiar phone booth and drops below.

 This scene came back to me as I reflected on how powerful forgiveness plays in our lives as believers in Christ.

Forgiveness is like a gentle breeze blowing against the light swirling curtains bringing in fresh cleansing air indoors. For anyone who has ever experience traumatic or complicated grief I think you might know where I am going with this illustration. When a loved one suddenly dies it is  easy to place blame on the people you thought were responsible for this loss. If the person dies shortly after coming home from the hospital you want to blame the hospital and all of the staff thought responsible for this loss.

 If it was a tragic car accident that took your loved one you search to pin blame on the other party. When a loss occurs suddenly and traumatically everyone who is connected with that loss will react differently to that loss. Some will choose to immediately forgive, while others will travel down the lonely path of anger and revenge as they seek monetary damages for their pain while forcing others to travel down this same path when all they want to do is find a way of  forgiving the one who caused the pain. 

This inability to forgive is akin to an old building with all of it's windows boarded up with no possibility of  allowing fresh air to circulate.until that is when someone opens up that building for the first time and is hit with the putrid air.

This lack of forgiveness permeates outward. Before you know it you begin blaming those around you who you thought would have supported you in your time of need.  The lack of forgiveness gives way to flashbacks and nightmares of the original event that caused your pain.  Instead of seeking help for pain the person in pain will wrestle with all of the nightmares, flash backs and the verbal attacks on others, causing collateral damage to his loved ones. One's world view begins to shift from finding good in everyone you meet to having difficulty trusting.  At the slightest provocation or disagreement the person will find ways of avoiding the person. Like the scene from 'Get Smart' there are doors in one's mind that go 'thud' when someone has violated any reason to trust them.

This lack of trust is akin to keeping all of the doors closed up and the stale air from escaping. Lack of forgiveness can create physiological symptoms of failing to breath deeply enough to let the toxins from within to escape. This lack of trust can result in a lifetime of addictions that interfere with the ability to live life like our Lord and Savior fully intended us to live.

As I reflect on my own journey I am amazed by God's power of forgiveness from the final Jewish attorney who got me thinking I should turn the tide and try to do things to honor our daughter's memory. His words were golden because I was hearing it from a man who tragically lost his less than a year old daughter who never made it home after child birth. His words had planted the seeds that allowed me to verbally forgive our daughter's  daughter's orthopedic specialist to actually sitting down with him and sharing our mutual grief journeys ( yes, even doctors grieve when things do not go the way they intended them to go),  The seeds that were planted sent me on a 1 week missions trip to the land my daughter was born in where I got to see God's hand in bringing  'Maria' to our family. Finally, the seeds lead me to set up 2 scholarships to  honor in a few weeks a couple of students from what would have been Maria's class of 2015 Legacy Christian academy class.  As I write this blog I write with total amazement and a smile on my face and like the gentle breeze blowing through the open window I breath the air of forgiveness.

Alas, this journey has come full circle. God has demonstrated that he, indeed, is good all the time and he alone walks with anyone going through traumatic events. Out of my deep despair came the site I hope will bring hope to those after me traveling their own  battles with despair:  www.soaringonwingsofeagles.org

Where ever you are at on your journey may you swing open those windows of forgiveness and let the crisp breeze of forgiveness to come in.Won't you take time today and pray for specific people in your life you know you should forgive and when you do won't you sit back and watch God coordinate these acts of forgiveness in your life?

One day, like me, you will awaken to open windows and crisp fresh air of forgiveness permeating every inch of your being causing positive changes to your mental and physical well being that will last a life time.

Yes, there is power of forgiveness!